I am sure we all have had our experiences with unreasonable landlords. I didnt realise there was an other side to it. The other day I was telling my parents that they had under-quoted the rent for a flat they owned and I asked them to revise it. They seemed reluctant to do so, despite the going-rate being slightly higher. At first, I thought they were just trying to avoid the hassle of searching for another suitable tenant but there seemed to be more.
Mom: See, we've chosen the medium-risk-medium return option. Me: What? Mom: We could let it out to someone at a higher price, but the more their ability to pay, the higher the chances that they'll create trouble for us. Me: Its your house ma, if they create trouble, just throw them out! Mom: What if they dont go? Me: What? Mom: They may refuse to leave. Me: So? Evict them! Mom: What if we cant? Me: ! Mom: See, even here, high returns come with a high risk. Me (not willing to understand): Whatever!
As if on cue, a friend told me the same day about having trouble evicting a tenant who hadnt paid even a day's rent. Why? He was in the Police, and they didnt want to take him on!
Its not that my parents are not well-connected or dont know the right people; they just prefer to not deal with such things, which is something I will never understand.
Anyways, to me, all this is just another reason not to buy a house :)
I think ex-boyfriends/ girlfriends are the worst baggage you can carry. They're never quite out of your mind and you hate the fact that they even exist. I hear about people being good friends with their ex-es but its never happened for me. Sure, we are amicable and civil but theres something that just doesnt go away.
I debated about whether or not to write about this weird exchange of messages I recently had. So this guy and I used to go out around 4-5 years ago. Hes married to someone else now and we've hardly talked since. We were friends on Facebook but I noticed him adding and deleting me continuously. I would invite him/ receive an invite from him, just to get deleted the next day.
Finally I got sick of being jerked around and decided to tell him off. The conversation below gives the gist of our discussion, though I dont remember the exact words.
Me: Dude, am sick & tired of your adding and deleting my name from your friends list. I dont know why you keep doing it - lets just not remain friends on FB or anywhere else ok??? I wont invite u and u too dont - we've better things to do.
He: Mind your business.
Me: Yeah, you too. Duplitious Creep!
He: Excuse me? Duplitious, what are you then?
I didnt deign to reply.
He: Listen here, you invited me, so dont blame me for adding you. I deleted you. There ends the story!
Me: Congratulations! You managed to come up with a story that is even lamer than you are. Wasnt it you who invited me the last time with a dumb "Veeeeeeeeee"? Anyways, I am tired of your pathetic games, so stay out of my face. Goodbye!
Is it sadistic hinging on cruel to make mileage of the fact that men think you are doing them a favor by letting them buy you coffee? I ask this purely in the context of work. I personally dont think so, given the disadvantages women face in workplaces, esp in India - for example, we almost always lose out on the special bonding that men indulge in only over drinks - decisions made, friendships created, secrets spilled, information shared - we very rarely get to even know about it, let alone be part of a drinks-do!
So think about it - there emerges a pretty strong case for women to use their appeal to the same end.
A very good friend of mine recently got engaged to this girl he had been going out with for 2 years. I had never met her and so asked them out for lunch when they were in town last weekend. But my friend seemed reluctant to bring her, which I thought was strange. Anyhow, she finally ended up coming.
To my unpleasant surprise, throughout the meal she kept nagging, taunting and critising my poor friend who just couldnt get a break. I am really not exaggerating here - she was downright rude and a TOTAL shrew! She kept snapping at him, jeering at his every sentence and generally trivialising everything he said. My friend is this really nice guy - kind, timid and really quite harmless. So I didnt see why she had to be that way.
If they werent engaged, I would really have told her off, but I decided to swallow my anger. Also, it was none of my business - you can never tell what holds a couple togther and for all I knew, they could be really happy.
But I couldnt resist in asking - so when she went out to take a call, I cautiously asked - are you sure this is the right girl for you?
I havent eaten in days. The choices on the menu are rabbits, dogs and peacocks. Yes, I did say peacocks.
Arunkulam is a tiny hamlet – its a really remote village in the Ottapidaram block of Tamil Nadu. The population of this hamlet is around 30 households. Everyone looks the same. The same! You will believe it only if you see it. You too will look like them if you stay here long enough.
People actually hunt for food. Each house has atleast 4 blood hounds. They are used for hunting rabbit. The dogs get to keep the limbs and people eat the rest. A convinient arrangement. If no rabbits are available, people eat dogs. Miles and miles of land stretch all around the village. Dry as dust land! Not a soul or a building or a shop in sight but a peacock calls to you every now and then.
You’d rather not eat becuase it is easier that way. The food is taken from another plate.You’d rather not sleep becuase its safer that way. The wolves might take your life away. You’d rather not bathe because its cleaner that way. The water is liquid plague.
The people here are resigned to fate. They neither know nor care what goes on in the rest of the world. Their life’s aim is to stay alive. Disease and poverty are their inseparable companions. They dont even own their time. Someone decided, someone they never met, generations ago, that their life will be somebody else’s labor.
Your cellphone mocks the village by getting signal at one particular spot on one particluar hillock at one particular angle. It hurts to think or feel in this place. It physically hurts!
I haven’t eaten in days. But thats my only problem. How did I get so lucky?
by Tom Sharpe...is one of the worst books Ive ever read! A book I picked up unassumingly since I was told it was funny! It turned out to be so depressing that it could easily reform unremorseful convicts. Not the book's fault actually, I shouldve taken my cue from the BLACK HUMOR that stares back at you from the cover. I am not really qualified to comment since I couldnt get through the whole book, but I honestly wish people wouldnt write such things :( I guess I should give it another chance and read one more book before making up my mind - Ive heard Sharpe is really funny. I only hope its funny funny and not I-wish-I-were-dead funny.
Isnt is wierd the way some authors really get under your skin while you have to struggle to appreciate others who are supposed to be equally good or better? For instance, to me, no Tom Sharpe or Woody Allen can ever be Wodehouse.
Anyways, to de-stress from the all black humor, I'm reading Andromeda Strain (I'm of course biased by my favourite author). But its really nice to have no people, no emotions, no shit - just pure Science :)
My mom and I happened to be on the same flight to Chennai. It wasn't planned or anything - I was on work and she too had a meeting. Now its been a while since I left home so I havent been anywhere recently with my mom and it took a bit of getting used to. However, she started talking to the lady sitting next to her and I busied myself with my book. After we landed, she remarked that the lady seemed a lot more confident in Chennai than she was in Blore.
Mom: It must be bcos she's on home-turf. Me: Uh-huh. Mom: Isn't it interesting the way people behave in different places? Me: I suppose. Mom: Of course, you are the same everywhere. Me: Yes? Mom: Yes. Perpetually bored!
Its been a while since I posted here, partly cos I didnt have Internet access and partly cos I didnt have anything to say. But quite a lot happened over the last one month.
Did I tell you I lost my money again, that too twice? But its ok, this time I lost only 32,000. Ive honestly stopped counting, theres no point...people say I'm just going through a bad phase or something like that but it doesnt help since I dont really believe in such stuff...
I was actually saving up to go to Egypt this year, but clearly that aint going to happen. So I went to Kathmandu instead, with 4 other friends. It was a really good trip but with a horrible, horrible ending. I cant even bring myself to think about it, let alone write about it! Still, it was a good get-away and I needed the break.
If theres anything I would like to remember the trip by, it was the food with a capital F. Perhaps its because I usually get to eat only garbage on all my field trips or whatever, but we really gorged on every meal and I woke up each day looking forward to it :) Cheesecakes, falafel, muffins, the classic pizzas - those yummy thin -crusted ones on wood-fired ovens, the hot baked-potatoes, the pancakes, the awesome Nepali teas (and of course,the coffee), the pumpkin soups, the tomato & basil salads, mushrooms of unimaginable variety, the driest martinis, the coldest but lightest beers, the deliciously but subtly flavored cigars - it was like a dream I tell you!
We were there only for a little more than 2 days but we got a lot done...and oh, we all got tattoos :)) It was on an impulse, but I am so glad I did! I didnt know what to get actually and the butterfly I had designed turned out to be too intricate. So I got my own version of the peacock feather with all the colors...I'll update this post with all the pictures once I get decent Internet. A word of caution on tattoos though - for Pete's sake, insist on new needles or better still, take your own needles.
We went to see the Pasupathinath temple (simply bcos it wouldve been a shame if we went all the way and didnt see it) but honestly, it gave me the creeps. We also went to Tribhuvan Bhavan - the palace of the King who had been recently de-throned...and we saw all the bullet marks where the Queen was shot at, it was really sad ..and of course, we went to Durbar Square, Freak Street and Thamel....We were lucky to be there during the Teej Festival...the whole place was painted in red...it was all lovely to watch but unbelievably crowded..The night-life in Kathmandu totally rocks too...every night we went out for drinks and listened to the all the bands there were...the music was a bit high-school but good nonetheless..and to be honest, it really made me miss being in love :(
I also wanted to try bungee jumping, but I didnt because of something my colleague told me...he actually said...You are a very anxious person, so I wouldnt want you to look down and get a heart attack! Enough to put anyone off no??? Ordinarily, I wouldve tried atleast the mountain flight, but I didnt have money, remember???
Oh and about the shopping, I had to take it easy bcos of my shoestring budget but at the same time, bring back gifts for lots of people, thats a tough balance to keep actually...I managed to buy quite a few things - a really beautiful old lamp that falls in lotus petals when unwound, a really heavy vintage lock (for my dad, ok? he loved it by the way), replicas of manuscripts, some from the monastery, Tibetan flags, a colorful mask- set of the traditional 13 Nepali Gods, T-shirts with trails of every Himalayan trek I intend on doing, lots of souvenirs with the famous Kathmandu eyes, boxes and boxes of After Eight mints (I cant believe they cost only 160 Nepali rupees) and lots different of flavors of tea..
Anyways, now I'm back in office and back to work...Thomaz is leaving to the US for 3 weeks so I'll have the house to myself...a month of work and nothing but fieldwork stretches ahead, thats pretty much it ...life is simple these days actually...
I feel like writing a poem now but nothing rhymes with AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!
Why is it always something dammit??? Why is my life and time wasted almost everyday with idiotic problems, the latest of which is the dratted Internet at office which happens to be in my name.
Two esteemed colleagues of mine stayed as guests for 12 days, gave me a total bill of 45000/- watching the FIFA world cup, sweetly left India after that and now I am landed with a legal notice since theres no one whos willing to pay for it...Not only that but my mailbox is flooded with nasty emails from them simply because I asked them to pay for what they used...
I cant decide who is nastier - them or the monstrous collection agents from the Internet company.
Why why why why WHYYYYYY is it me AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL the time????
On the eve of the Indian Independence anniversary, I would like to relate an appalling conversation I had yesterday with someone who is actually a good friend...lets call him UM by his initials...
UM: This NREGA program has to be stopped. Its just driving up the labor prices. Me: What??? Maybe its a good thing that people have a choice now. Labour is so undervalued anyway. UM: Excuse me?? Its like paying people to do nothing, theres very little tangible output! Me: So??? Thousands of people in Govt departments do nothing...definitely dont produce "tangible output" but we pay them fat salaries... UM: Thats no reason to defend a badly-designed program. Me: Well, it provides employment, contains migration, increases the shockingly-low labour wages. Its a genuinely pro-poor intervention. UM: But these people dont pick up any skills.. Me: They are doing unskilled work either ways.. UM: Tell me what is the use of this program. There is no construction of any public goods. Me: Just like how a high-budget bridge that was never built tragically collapses due to rains and needs to be rebuilt? UM: Oh come on. At the cost of 55000 crore rupees? Me: Precisely..a fraction of our budget. UM: Ok, we have slightly different views.. Me: Diametrically opposite you mean..
I got an sms today which said that we should be proud an Indian owns the East India Company now!!
To 63 glorious years of independence...we are so lucky we weren't born a century earlier!!
Last night, my colleague and I were on an overnight bus. He is a Brazilian-French guy who knows everything about everything...I always feel like a dunce when he talks, but thats a different issue...
When I say dunce, I really mean dunce because I decided to talk about Greek mythology..well, Greek philosophy actually, but we got nowhere with that.....
He: So you're interested in Greek Mythology?
Me: Well, I was when I was around 10 years old, I couldnt get enough of it back then...
He: Wow, thats more than what most 10 year-olds do...so what do you know about it?
Me: Well, at the top of my head, theres Achilles, Agmemon and Odessyus...
He: You mean Agamemnon?
Me: Yes, thats right...
He: So what about him?
Me: He fought a war, with Paris I think..
He: And who is Paris?
Me: Paris from the judgment of Paris..he was the baby found on a hill by his parents..right?
He: Thats insane, I think you're getting confused with Hindu mythology...
Me: A bit unlikely, since I dont know Hindu mythology....anyways, I know that there were 3 goddesses...
He: There are around 5000 goddesses...
Me: No, three main goddesses that bid for the golden apple and aphrodyte got it since she promised the most beautiful woman on Earth as the guy's wife..
He: Which guy's wife?
Me: The guy who had the golden apple...
He: Not quite..
Me: Well, thats what I have read...
He: Have you even seen the movie Troy?
Me: No but I know Icarus who lost his wings and Achilles with his weak left heel and about the Trojan horse...
He: Thats just random info..
Me: Well, thats what I remember from the book I read..
He: And which book is this?
Me: I dont remember...
He: Nice...what else do you know?
Me: Umm...Menalus and pinelope, penelope?
He:You mean Me-ne-lau?
Me: Yes, and wasnt Penelope Odessyus' wife?
He: And who is Odessyus?
Me: Not sure but I know he traveled a lot...and that he had a lot of interesting but weird adventures on his travel and that the Trojan horse was his brainchild...
He: and??
Me: And I know Apollo is the sun-god..
He: So you just picked up bits and pieces..
Me: Thats more than what an average Indian knows about Greek Mythology...
We read so many glowing descriptions of China's investment and interest in Africa - they're building roads, bridges, buildings, ports; what couldnt be achieved in decades is being done in months. But if you ask people whove been to Africa, theres only one response - Dude, the Chinese so rule the place. They're just ripping it off all the resources, just like what happened to India. Roads and rails to transport raw material out, ports and freight to flood the market with Chinese goods, labor intensive work to serve as employment for the Chinese...its just like a remotely controlled SEZ!
Not that I really care about the debate but statements like China is or India is doing something are a bit sketchy, with all due respect to historians...
In Prey, one of my all-time favorite science fiction books, a cloud of nano particles that are actually independent seem co-ordinated simply because they emanate each other.
Both are just herd-mentality right? Difference in the degree of externality aside of course...
You are cutting corners..the usual...adding records to a DB manually rather than the oh-so-sophisticated front end...and after many hours into the night your sugar levels are dipping but you've done 2000 records...and then for no reason, each subsequent record reminds you what you did....in the year 2001...in 2002.....ups and downs, in and outs and roundabouts...and 2008...2009...ouch!...you cant wait to get past it.all..and then its now 2010....you finally begin to breathe easy.....then you reach 2015...you're wondering where you will be...and soon it is 2030..it gets scary now...and finally 2050...where you actually begin to feel like crying....because you think of all those who wont be with you then..and suddenly you cant wait to get to 2075 and be done with the whole thing.....
It all happened very quickly. The postwoman was getting a receipt signed on the road. A guy sneaks up to her, snatches the gold necklace she was wearing and starts running away. Unfortunately for him, the woman's husband is waiting for her on his bike. He chases the guy and catches him.
The thief gets beaten by almost everyone on the road..the postwoman takes a crowbar lying around and starts hitting him like there is no tomorrow...the guy is not able to even beg her to stop...he gets beaten just short of death...
A month ago, I wouldve been shocked at the beating he got...but once you know how it feels to get robbed, its not quite the same....Its pretty much what I would do if I ever meet that lady....
Ever been in a really great bookstore and didnt have the faintest idea what you want? That doesnt happen to me a lot...because usually I am in one phase or the other and know what I am looking for...
But today was weird...something like...
Science...not now!
Classics....ruled out by definition...
Fiction....whats the point???
Non-fiction....I dont care to know..
Philo...belch....
History...yawn!
Self-help...Like you would know!
Humor... not funny anymore...
Romance...oh puhleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez!!!
You know that financial rock-bottom is staring at you in the face when you get invited for an exciting training at a beach resort and the first thing you think is - wow! free food for 5 days!!! Anyway, things are slowly inching back to normal though I still dont carry a wallet or cant stop watching the video of the lady...
I love this place we're in now...theres great people, great food and free drinks and we've all religiously gotten wasted every evening of this week....
I love being so close to the sea....I could run on the beach forever and theres a grand lighthouse here too....somehow lighthouses are so mystical... just like the Cheryl Richardson Cards Ive lately taken to. Offlate, I get the feeling that something is going to happen in my life...something big, its just around the corner, I dont quite know what...am not even sure if its a good thing...but I just cant wait for it... I lay awake at night for hours thinking what it might be...the possibilities seem endless...
The group here for the training is really diverse, from about 30 different countries I think....and its nice to know that I am "old-school" because I like vermouth or hear phrases like "my bad"...they're lovely people though, and incredibly smart and everyone has such an amazing sense of humor....makes you so hopeful and happy :)
Anyways, football really brings us all together and everyones phone sings waka waka...
I place all my bets on Germany...what do you think?
We saw the thief today...and man, shes so totally a pro! I thought someone must have picked up my wallet and run amok with the cards...but no, this is totally a professional job...someone lifted the wallet from my bag, someone else tore through the Saturday evening traffic to a strategically chosen low profile jewelery shop....and the lady who used the card had an accomplice waiting for her outside giving continuous updates ...she was Muslim and her face was clearly visible through her headscarf on the CCTV, and she handed my card over the counter as if its the most natural thing to do, it was really disturbing to see it...she was pretty ordinary looking, you're likely to see her opposite you on a train seat or at the nearby table at a restaurant...
Not very smart though to get caught on the cam, I really thought she would have covered her face and she managed to totally fudge my signature, which has got to be easiest in the world.......I wonder what she eats and how she sleeps at night...I can only hope she feels pretty in all the big fat jewelery she bought...
If you are reading this, just buy me dinner the next time you see me, I really am broke :(
My life sucks...yes, right now, it positively, totally sucks! My wallet got stolen today..and the bitch who took it wasn't content with the ridiculous amount of money there was in it..she actually felt the need to go indulge herself buying gold with the credit cards..leaving me with a bill that chills my spine each time I think of it...all in a matter of 15 mins...not to talk about the hassle of running around trying to lodge a police complaint and worrying that she may misuse my IDs....or even the fact that I am totally cut off from all my finances and that all my cards are blocked...Yeah, shes smooth and fast...and they've asked me to come check out her face tomorrow at the shop she blew all my money at.....apparently, its on camera...but I am willing to bet my life that she'll be veiled or something...after all shes not stupid right????
So goodbye to all my savings....hope we meet sometime soon....:(
In a strange land far far away, there once lived a little mermaid called Lily. Lily was lonely and sad because she did not have a sea to live in. She wandered far and wide searching for her sea. Pools of water, rivers and streams beckoned to her but she wanted only her sea.
Quite suddenly, she stumbled upon a really beautiful sea. The sea seemed too good to be true. It was kind and warm and had everything Lily could ever want. She was really excited. Eagerly, she ran to the sea and made friends with it. The sea totally adored Lily, and they had a great time being with each other. It was the happiest she had ever been.
The sea invited Lily to come and live in it but for some reason Lily was hesitant. She preferred to stay outside the sea and just talk to it instead. The sea could not understand why Lily felt this way.
One day was a terrible thunderstorm. Lily was scared and ran to the sea but the sea was horribly harsh.
But I always am rough during thunderstorms. I cannot really help it...
In the calm before the storm, what did Lily see but sharks in the sea..Many many bloodthirsty sharks...She was petrified...Eyes wide with fear, she asked the sea about the sharks....
Oh they wont hurt you...they belong to me, they have lived with me forever.....
Lily believed the sea and she stepped into it for the first time....
We dont want you, you are not one of us...spat the sharks, and chased her out....there was blood and tears everywhere....
The sea was puzzled....the sharks have never bitten anyone before, you mustve done something to annoy them.....
Ive done nothing....cried Lily, wringing her hands, but the sea did not believe her.....
Can you tell the sharks to leave me alone? ....she asked
I cant do that...I cant upset my sharks...Dont you have my love? Isnt that all you need? Sharks will be there in every sea...
But it hurts to to be bitten...and I dont deserve to be hurtfor no reason....said Lily...
Well, if you have to be here, you have to tolerate the sharks, my dear...its the only way you can live in this sea......
Lily could not understand it....but she understood only too clearly her place in the life of the sea....
and so there was Lily, lonely and sad once again...
P.S. Dont ask me what this damn story means, Ive no idea. Its just a dream Ive had like a million times!
You know theres something wrong if get a call from home at 12 am in the night.
Please, please let it not be Grandpa... It cant be grandma can it??? Ummm....what else can go wrong? I hope everything is alright...could it be a fire? or an accident?? or maybe its just good news.... But please please, let nothing happen to Grandpa...
Hello??.. You say tentatively into the phone, fearing the worst...
Your brother had an accident on his bike. He crashed into a man-hole and broke his ribs.
Well, that was actually tactful given my dad's usual standards...
Is he ok? Where is he? Is he alive????
It seems he is out of danger....
What do you mean it seems???????
No theres no danger but the pain is excruciating..
I can imagine...well, sort of!! I cant really imagine how it must hurt especially when you breathe each time:( I am sorry dumma, I wish I could take away your pain...
Yes – have you seen the new versions on the stands? The American one with all the skyscrapers and New York neighborhoods???? Eww! They actually have cars, and limos…talk about lame! And the INDIAN version???? Much as I love India, I cant think shelf of Old Kent Roadas Gawhati :( And I cant imagine a board without Liverpool St.
And what the heck is Monopoly Mafia Wars??
Why can’t they just leave good things as they are? Do they HAVE to customize it and pander to the tastes of masses and make it into just another game on the shelf?? :(
No – you’re really missing something!
My firm belief is that there isn’t a third, because no one can just know it and not love it!
Because thats how old this blog is today :) I would like to say it seems like yesterday, but it doesnt. The last one year has been the worst and each day was a painful drag. I remember so well how and why I started blogging and how low I was...addicted I was to it, partly because I had no one to talk to for a long time! But I am so glad I made it through without doing anything stupid.....
And I still love this blog even though I dont spill my heart out on it like I used to. But thats mostly because Ive been pretty steady over the past few months with few emotional roller-coasters :)...and of course, Ive lightened up like a LOT...Incidentally, this is my 100th post which means Ive been posting once in 4 days roughly. Thats not too bad now is it:)
So heres to blogging and a year of happy posts ahead :) Oh and this is a pic I took sometime back, just enlarge it and see the symmetry.....nice no?? :)
A person named Umar Farooq actually jumped out of the aircraft which was on fire! Can you jump even out of a moving car if you are not guaranteed a safe landing? He is certainly a hero!
How big a gamble do you think it wouldve seemed to him at that instant? The ability to throw caution to the winds, especially when it is not tested in the course of our daily life is certainly not innate in all of us. There are those who just wait for the worst and those who take ownership for what happens to them and make an endeavour to save themselves.
That said, imagine the impact of such moments on people's minds. That throughout their lives they'll relive those moments, either thanking their goddamn stars for their flash of inspiration or breaking out into cold sweat at the thought of what if!
So many of us are fortunate to go through life without having to make such heavy choices when there are just microseconds between life and death. Can you even bring yourself to scream for help when in fear? I cant. I actually carry a whistle because my voice fails me!
Some say if God brings you to it, he brings you through it! I am not sure if thats true, but I really hope it is.
Its official now...and a post on it is overdue. I have not understood so far the supposed pleasure men experience in harrassing women. Their only motive I can think of is power and it works both ways - if we dont react, then we're pinned as scared of them, and if we do, they're totally invigorated. Isnt that so?
It can be anything - prolonged stares, sexually explicit remarks, cat-calls, shoulder brushes, grabbing...all depending on where you are and how far they think they can go! There was a time when I used to take these very personally. In fact, I am riddled with such memories especially from when I was a child. Heres a scary fact - its easy to get over it if you think its not your problem, which is totally justified if you were not equipped to react.
That dispensed with, what do we do when we are greeted with it the minute we get on a bus or walk by a wine shop? There are those who advocate ignoring them and I go with that as long as it remains verbal. But most people misinterpret your silence as a go-ahead to treat you worse.
I would like to relate an incident that took place last friday on an overnight bus. I was totally exhausted from the day's fieldwork and started sleeping as soon as I sat down. In the middle of the night, the girl sitting next to me woke me up saying the guy behind was harassing her. She was literally in tears because he had been making lewd remarks, pinching her under the pretext of adjusting the window etc.
I couldnt really comprehend what she was saying becuase I had a splitting headache and everything seemed vague...Whats is wrong with you? They were pinching you too...In fact they even touched your face, didnt you feel anything???
No, I really didnt! I was dead beat and lost to the world...I am ashamed to say I just told her not to worry and went back to sleep....When I woke up at 6 am, she wasnt there...she had already gotten down....now that I could think clearly I turned around to look at the guy she was talking about...the man with the mustache in blue and gray clothes...he was fast asleep!
Soon it was the last stop and we all had to get down..the guy behind got a call... from his wife I would say by the sound of it...and he was positively sweetness and light....
On an impulse, I stayed where I was and allowed him in the queue in front of me...just when we were about to get down, I mustered all my courage and might and kicked him as hard as I could on the shin....he yelped in pain, stumbled and almost fell....pepper spray in hand I was ready in case he hit back...but he didnt...the coward just picked himself up, didnt even glance back and proceeded as if nothing happened....everyone saw it..the driver, the bus-boy, the other pasengers...no one asked me why I kicked him and I didnt bother to explain...
A giant step for me, a small step for womankind...
A new person was hired on our field team. Another one of those! (I get quite crabby these days)
Resignedly, I asked my colleague what his job description was to be.
Well, hes basically going to be your bitch!
Oh how I loved that!!! :) I dont mean it in a disrespectful way at all; the person in question is a highly qualified field expert...but just think about it.....my bitch !! :) just when my nerves are stretched to a snapping point due to the stress at work over the last few months....the tedious phone calls, the ridiculous errands, the never ending field trips, the brain-numbing amount of planning ...its not as if Ive not had a project assistant before, but just the thought of someone whos job is to make your life easier is such an amazing luxury :)
They say history repeats itself. And my belief in the statement gets reinforced each time I see the so-called rich kids squandering money and doing nothing else. And I wonder when it will catch up with them and how many generations it'll take when they eventually fall back to being financially mediocre, even poor. Because thats what it takes to understand the value of something you dont have and work to earn it. And when someone comes along that conveniently inherits it, the cycle continues...
This post was actually inspired by the "alternative" lifestyle choices we make not realizing it was in fashion centuries ago!
Felt like penning down this fleeting but intense moment....
The guy walking beside me was good on paper. Just when I was beginning to think maybe it all needs more credit than I give, he startled me by shouting out to an auto across the road....
AUTO!!!! M.G ROAD????
Auto: What??
M. G ROAD!!!!
Auto: Shakes his head..
I pitch in... M.G ROAAAAAAAAADDDD we holler ...
He says no, like I thought he would....I would never have screamed out like that...I always believed that a lot of the response lies in how you ask....
I suddenly remembered myself a few months ago on the same road...with colorful clothes and silver jewellery... all dressed up and nowhere to go...but really hopeful and happy in the moment...
I dont think I'll ever be ready to put my single self on the shelf...
Is the thought-bucket really that deep? Heres something that illustrates the point.
A supplementary titled Luxury must-haves for every CEO (which by the way, is a contradiction in terms ) in an Indian edition of an internationally acclaimed magazine ...heres your clue - starts with an F and ends with an S and has an O R B E in between...Now take a wild guess??
Anyways, of the seemingly wondrous things recommended, the first pitch was for washroom decor, if you please.
Imagine a sumptuous bathroom where everything is interwoven to create a seamless, unique and evolved form. It is the alchemy between the inner-self and the world and the makers call it "a new sense of lightness", a more emotive way of looking at things. Here, water itself is the design object.
Never mind that the piece in question was obscenely expensive and by no stretch of imagination a value for money in real terms. Or so it seems..but people who believe that they would connect with something they couldnt otherwise would believe in it.
It cant be, can it? Isnt this a classic case of polishing brass hoping to turn it into gold?
Is this really an experience only few can afford or is it something you can get and more by just watching the sea?
:) Its still good...and I suggest you never forget to love it...like the smell of the first rain, the taste of freshly brewed coffee, the wind through your hair or the feel of the waves at your feet...the few things that always make you happy...
I dont like being grown up :(
And I havent done it graciously either :(
(P.S: And in a Oh WTH! moment add Good to Go, Organic Audio to that list)
I am going to sound a bit high-schooling but nevertheless, its worth writing about ...So, yes! There are few things as fulfilling as going for a run...and whats more is that its an exhilarating feeling when you sprint past certain people :) Dont judge me, going for a run in Madurai is not easy, and the Brazilian roommate doesn't help, sweet as he is...
Anyways, whats really great is that Ive realised I have a running routine...it starts with In your eyes, followed by Jame Raho (I dont know, it feels just GREAT), Insatiable and Learning to fly (which is when you actually feel your feet leave the ground), I'm a bitch, Here I am and then then a supreme finish with the magical chords of High Hopes.
For some reason, many people have asked me this over the last few weeks..It depends majorly on who the person is and what you shared with them..And quite suddenly, he called to invite me to his wedding today. I am happy for him but at the same time, I dont want to attend the wedding. It would be awkward.
There are two kinds of exs- the we didnt work out but lets be friendskind and the we didnt work out so its too painful to see you existkind...see THATS what the answer depends on :)
And only the first kind would invite you anyway...
I have a curious problem with this blog - I am unable to write happy posts anymore...And Ive gotten my cheap thrills although I wish I hadnt...But seriously..when I come here, all the glowing drafts in my head turn blurry and gradually disappear like fog from glass...I cant write about my work..or my friends...or my feelings...anymore!! What I can write about is the new things I did...Its like a conditioned response..
Yes, thats is all the clarity we have for now atleast. But I'll keep my word and give you something about the Nommo, in case you may want.
So I am currently living in with a guy. No, nothing like that - even if my facebook relationship status reads Its complicated. But its not....I mean, nothing in life is at present...Anyway, he is my colleague and from Brazil, and married at that, and we have this HUUGE house with roses in the garden, sugarcane plants in the backyard, a private terrace to ourselves, we even have comforters...I could cry I tell you.... we work, we cook, we cycle, we trek, we take holidays, we're even thinking of tap-dancing - Its the perfect non-ideal situation, and as oxymoronic as it can get.
And in my other work-world, I went on a holiday to Dehradun with colleagues..we went rafting in the Ganga river (so we're pure now, dont miss that), and visited Haradwar which is a freaky place with an alarming number of "spiritual gurus"..and I discovered hills are depressing ...they're ok to visit but not to live...still, it was a fun holiday...we took spas, collected handmade soaps, saw the Tehri Dam, lit campfires, talked, danced, laughed, boozed ...and since I am feeling generous, here are some pics. Yes I am deluded, you neednt tell me that :)
And I am beginning not to see the point of this post or this blog either for that matter, but I guess I am coming through pretty clearly which saves me a lot of writing...and heres the bit on the Nommo I promised - well, not about Nommo obviously...come on, I cant do all the work...
Scientists report that no creature on Earth dreams as much as the human fetus. Now what can the tabula rasa dream about? Do we, for a moment imagine that the tiny swimmer's dreams are dry? That no Nommo splash therein? That the mood is other than oceanic?
I cant believe I have anger management issues. Worse, I am having difficulty expressing my anger. Worst, its anger about things that happened in the past. I dont know what brought it on suddenly but I remembered certain incidents and the people who expected me to take pain they themselves wouldn't want to even begin to experience...that they tried to make me believe I am a bad person for reacting to something they caused because they were scared to do the right thing....that they conveniently overlooked what brought it on and chose to judge only my reaction.....That they brushed it off saying that it is something I should face anyway and blamed me for being so sensitive.... Sensitive, my ass! Its good for them that they are in my past, since I am getting over the difficulty in expressing anger bit real fast...
Its just a phase....(breathe)...its just a phase.... and I really should stop taking it out on friends who have always been there for me....if you are reading this, I really apologize for yesterday!
Have you ever wondered what margins stockists would make on a matchbox costing 50p. 5p? 10p? It is a volume game but is it worth the opportunity cost of their investment? So it seemed worthwhile to study the fascinating matchstick economy and here are my notes:
Now I dont have to remind you that like the table salt, matches are not a marketeer's friend.
1. Do you care which brand the shopkeeper gives you when you ask for them?
2. Do you even know of any differences between the brands?
3. Would it affect you if their price went up from 50p to say 60p?
4. Do you ever count to see how many matches are there in your box? Would you notice if were 10 less?
5. How can matches be marketed? Ads on TV? Even if so, do you really care enough to make a conscious purchasing decision?
..and so forth.Given all this, what is the incentive for a manufacturer to make good matches?
I could not find any numbers for the matchstick economy in India. So I visited a few matchstick manufacturing hubs last week to understand their pricing. Here are the costs per box
Manufacturing - < 5p
Packaging - 3p + 2p
Transportation - 5p
Total < 15p
Commission for Middleman 1 = 2p
Commission for Middleman 2 = 3p
Wholesale commission = 3p
Retail commission = 5p
So the box of matches for which you pay 50p costs around 28p. Its good business.
Woman1 has spent her around 30 years of her life stuffing matchsticks into boxes. She has to count 70 sticks and fill a box. For every 200 boxes she fills, she is paid six rupees. In a day she and her co-workers fill as many as 2000 boxes, thereby earning 60 rupees. Woman2 packs the boxes into cartons. 200 boxes make a mini carton. She is paid 1 rupee a carton and packs around 50 cartons with 10000 boxes a day, thereby earning 50 rupees. Woman1 and Woman2 work as a team from 7 in the morning to 6 in the evening.
Middleman 1 is very astute. He inherently assumes that 10% of the boxes are faulty so he asks for 10% more stock. In a day he transports 1,00,000 boxes on an average earning 1300 rupees a day after costs Middleman 2 charges more because transporting to a city is expensive you see, so he earns around 2000 a day on the same stock. The wholesale shop makes 2500 a day and the retail shop makes 4000 rupees if it has to sell the same 100,000 boxes.
As always, each one earns in proportion to the work they do. Thats how good a business this is!
I'd written this some months back, but didnt feel like posting it then...
If we were caveman and cavewoman, we wouldve grunted approvingly at the same dinosaur carcass, never mind the imagery!
Thats when I knew he & I could be friends. Here was a guy who made me laugh....In about half an hour, we felt like old friends, it was that easy...
We actually met through this blog. He even lasted through the whole of it (he is evidently made of stern stuff ) and we got talking. Now I wasnt attracted to him or anything, I really wasnt....but this guy seemed incredibly nice, had a good sense of humor, was really interesting to talk to...and his blog was simply amazing......and after months of having no one to talk to and using my phone just as an alarm, it seemed it could have messages I could look forward to again...somebody would actually care to ask if I reached home safe....I might even wake up with good morning messages again ...I would have somebody to call whenever I felt like, someone who would genuinely love to hear from me....
Now I'm not as stupid as you think though I tend to get carried away by a kind word, and this learning from mistakes is something my pea-brain is capable of.....and as immodest as I may sound, my little brain is fast... if you call six hours fast...and I call it fast...when compared to say, a year or two...anyways, so when he called back at 2 am after a 4 hour talk just to say he missed me, my brain decided to do something it hasnt before...to pull the plug, and set off the alarm and call the cops....
You see, we had gtalked for 2 about hours asking each other loaded questions like colors or shades? ...and there are very few people I can last on gtalk with....and fewer for more than an hour...and only one person for more than 2 hours....no really, there is only one....so we chucked gtalk and and spoke for about 4 hours...now you get the six hour logic?...and as amazing as the conversation was, I decided it was long enough....
Why? Because I wasnt feeling "that way"...and I knew I wont either...blah blah....so my intelligent and considerate suggestion that we should stop talking immediately was put forth and the phone was hung up....
My brain, though smart asks too many questions for my liking - Did I make a mistake? After all, there are not make people who speak my language...what if I lost out on a great friend??...what if I culdve really learnt a lot from this guy?...what if I missed out on loads of fun??? You see, theres not much my brain doesnt think of....
Oh and I forgot to mention he saw it fit to ask me out in the meanwhile and I saw it fit to reciprocate by literally bashing his teeth in just because I was angry with all guys in general.....and thats how we sweetly parted...
But you see, almost immediately since then, a new man came into my life...waving a broom and shaking a slipper....the great lawyer (drumroll please !!!)...and got me into a hole so deep that I needed a fireman without a collarbone to rescue me (ok, I know!)...but beggars cant be choosers...so out of the window went my indignation about being asked out..and the roles were reversed pretty quickly...I was pretty much like I dont care how you treat me, but someone please talk to me...
Of course now...he has a brain too right??? ...so he told me to fuck off and I took it pretty badly...now you know I really meant it when I said roles were reversed...fortunately, I had a life (albeit without people in it) so I lived on...
Two months later... lo & behold! - hes in my city!!!
Hey, can we meet? Lets do coffee?
How about dinner??
(Some people sure have this incredibly ability to pretend as if nothing was wrong)~!
Yeah right! Like in hell !!! Not even to save my life! And I looked the other way.... even on gtalk!
If you know me, you'll know this is no big deal...these things always happen to me (or I make them happen depending on which way you prefer to see it)...You see, someone once told me that I am the type to reach out to people only when I am "alone and in the dark"....whatever else I may be, I know thats not true now... and I prefer to leave it here....
It is really saddening to see posts after posts where someone is desparately trying to move on. I wish I could link to her blog here to show you but I cant. Though I barely know her, I check on her everyday to see if she is ok, and mostly she is not...Since theres nothing anyone can do, we've all taken to leaving really nasty comments on the guy's blog..
But theres this one thing he wrote which got me thinking.
Relationship is not a business deal. Its not about what it right or good for you...Its about what makes you happy, where your heart is...
The dimly lit yellow lamp reminds you that you are all alone in a hotel room in an indistinct town. Its around 5 am in the morning, and you know you should wake up soon to catch that train to that village with an unpronounceable name. You have a dull headache and fever and are dreading the day which stretches painfully in front of you.
The days' newspaper is pushed brusquely under your door. Weary, but determined to get up, you drag yourself out of bed and glance at it through half-opened eyes.
You are jolted out of your slumber, the drudgery disappears as if by magic,
the weariness is replaced by an emotion you cant quite place...something like terrible anger.... for some reason you think it mustve been love, but its over now.......
I always thought democracy at every level is always desirable. But the author argues (and every cogently) that democracy must always be preceded by economic development. Well, he is right. For instance, no democratic Government can do what General McArthur did for Japan. Democracy here is the end, and not the means, something I had never considered....On the face of it, we now see why the Third World countries which have adopted democracy are inching along on the curve of equitable economic development but are nonetheless proud to be a democracy, which precedes all other considerations. That democracy was thrust on them in the name of freedom of spirit to ensure that they remain backward... Any ideas? I have absolutely none...
(P.S: Only in Asia can you get away with asking Can Asians think? Try asking that of the Europe or the Americas...)
I always thought it was a dumb concept because it can never catch people who are emotionally infidel...and thats the dangerous one, not physical...So the program was never anything to write home about. But please watch this clip and then this clip.
This one couple, for reasons I cant explain really made me sad - the girl, the guy...everything is as if its been lifted out of a nightmare...just the fact that she is unable to even confront her guy rattles my every bone...no woman should allow herself to become this...or guys for that matter....maybe nature should be be kind to them and weed them out by natural selection... because its really not worth what it does to you as a person...
On and me finally floated a totally anonymous blog on Wordpress - its a literal account of all my dreams as I remember them..and I intend to keep it updated...I wish I could link it here because the comments are really amusing...but sadly, I cant.
Sorry about the distasteful title which has been borrowed from Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas by the way - and thats a book everyone should read I say....wow, that rhymes...anyways, you should read the book to know what the title really means...27 is hardly an age to be world-weary no? But what else would you be, when the enormous futility of it all is staring at you in the face???
I hate it when people make you convey bad stuff but if its anything good, they convey it themselves.. I am scared I am becoming grumpy and a complaint-box - now whens the last time we used that??But then why do I wake up everyday, ready to kill everyone? Do you just realize how much of restraint we have to exercise every damn day in so many things? I am scared of becoming fat...and I think Ive given up eating for good...I hate it when people dont take me seriously...but I refuse to give up colors and dress drab and adorn horn-rimmed glasses and start eating organic stuff and talking fluff...that also rhymes!....I refuse to talk about the weather and food, NO...try if you want and see me bite back...I hate all these sleazy men who at the tiniest chance try to flirt....!Someone told me I seem to be aging backwards...huh...if so, I think the termites ate my past ...ah thank God, I thought there'll be nothing light in this post :)...but if one more person says I should marry now because the "biological clock is ticking"....!!!
P.S: Heres advice that'll stand you in very good stead - now and always - dont be picky about clothes and food et al - be picky only about what you feed your brain...cos thats all that counts dearie...Asleep at Heavens' Gate wouldve been a better title no? Okkkk I know!!!...just dont say it.
Well thats what we called ourselves in college :) And we met up over the weekend, after six long years...though the entire group was not there, it was worth every bit of the effort and planning...
You know, I always underestimated the value of girl-friends - many people have asked me why all my friends have been guys lately...this was not intentional I tell you...and I am not tomboyish or anything, quite the opposite, in fact...but somehow, most of the friends Ive made in the last 4-5 years or so have been guys....and frankly, I never made the distinction - friends were friends, be it girls or guys...and so when the SATC group came up with Let us be each others' soulmates, and the men in our lives be just guys we have have fun with, I was the one who laughed the loudest...
We were a group of five in college.. each as different as you could get...back then, we never did any of the regular stuff like shopping or movies or eating out....in all the four years of engineering, we managed only one outing ...and you definitely wont believe me when I say that we never even gossiped! We were more into books and academics and writing papers and stuff like that...anyone would think that we had a sub-zero fun quotient...but our room was easily one of the happiest rooms in the hostel....we were good friends to each other, friends we could depend on, friends who would be there by your side when the chips were down...
It was like becoming friends all over again over the last two days..and boy, was it different this time !!!! All of us stayed over at my place...and now I know what shop till you drop means :)..we bought like a million gifts for each other, tirelessly explored all the sales at shopping malls and Commercial Street..and oh!!! see this Tee I got...nice no? I TOTALLY LOVE it :)))...we ate till we could eat no more, had a tea-ball at Infinitea - all English with the baked beans and what not :), see the pic ...and we dressed up enough to make up for all the four years - I swear they made me change no less than 8 outfits yesterday :)...we even managed to catch a movie - Couples Retreat...which we highly recommend, by the way....talked for hours and hours, caught up on each others news and lives...and all of us felt the same - that the sad things in our lives magically disappeared over the two days....I cant believe what I nearly missed had I stayed back in Madurai when my train ticket didn't come through..and grudgingly I admit SATC may be on to something here, even if not soulmates...
Diva, you said that having us meant having someone to lean on, even if it is for something as small as an opinion...Ive been thinking about it...and how right you are!!
Shinu, you shouldve been there, I really have a bone to pick with you on this..
Vids, we missed you and your famous dry wit :)
Nasma & Goofy - we really should do this more often, no?
All in all, I really couldnt ask for a better group of friends...
So me decided to go on this deluded trip and pretend I am in charge of the world. To my surprise, I found that there are quite a few things I would like to change. I'll write them in parts to keep it simple.
Ive always wondered who on earth decided that for every 5 days we work, we should get 2 days off. And why do we follow it generation after generation without even thinking if it is a good idea?
I get the logic for 24 hours in a day, we cant really help that, and even perhaps for 12 months in a year..But I dont get the 4 weeks in a month and 7 days to a week logic. Can someone tell me the reason? I recommend that our week should have 6 days and we should have 5 weeks a month. It all works out the same. And it is neater because it fits better into the number of days in a month - because 6 * 5 = 30 days is a lot better than 7 * 4 = 28 days. Right?
Now for, every 4 days we work, we should have 2 days off. Its only common sense that we rest atleast half of the time we work.
This way, we have 4 days * 5 weeks = 20 days a month of work.
And in the current system, we have 5 days * 4 weeks = 20 days a month of work.
Its the same see?..and definitely so if we were to argue on a minimum number of working days...and this way, our holidays are better-spaced and life will be easier....Nice na? So why dont we adopt this???
There are countries that have as little as 3 days in a week to as many as 20 days. But they are a depressingly small percentage of the world, which largely swears by the 7-day week with 5 working days and 2 holidays...well, not if I ruled :)
I really dont want to say it - but I think I am falling out of love with villages and more so, the people. See, Ive always loved field travel. Not just because its my work or because the countryside is pretty, but also because it puts things in perspective and gives me a sense of purpose. It was the one thing in my life which was steady.
Yesterday I had gone to this place called Arupukottai in Tamil Nadu - I dunno if we can find it on a map..it seemed like a hell-hole in the middle of nowhere...and for the first time ever, I felt claustrophobic.. the atmosphere was too suffocating...and I wanted to just run away from there...why?..because the people there thrived in their poverty...they were perfectly happy with living in penury....I know its a pretty harsh thing to say, but thats what it was...
They were content with working for nothing, they just shrugged and put it down to misfortune when their people died of diseases...they were perfectly ok with the lack of amenities...spent most of their lives caste-politicking and street-fighting...and generally didnt even bother to dream of a better life...
This raises two important questions:
1. Who are we to decide what is good or bad for them? What makes us think that our lifestyle is superior? They may be happier than us, for all we know.. Why are we so hell-bent on bringing them into the "mainstream"? What gives us the right anyway, just because we have the money?
2. Arent we all like that, albeit in bigger things? For example, havent we accepted that we have to give bribes everywhere to get work done? Dont we pay fine to the traffic cop for no fault of ours? These are the things we've learnt to live with, just like them..
Lets now reverse the roles...(oh yes, we live on the "other side" most of our lives...didnt you know????)
We are all sentimental beings, are we not? Sentiments mean a lot to us, usually more than money...we see hundreds of examples of it around the world everyday...for instance, how else do we explain the most expensive naming rights of the world's tallest building being given in lieu of debt bailout???? That something symbolic is worth more than something concrete?? Seriously, how does it matter who names it what...why give a damn???? But we do!! Then arent we the same people who register absolutely no sentiment when we see that careers of millions of people are ostensibly dedicated to making our lives better? Seriously, HOW can we sleep knowing that we are subjects of research and projects and patronages, that we are specimens, that someone in intently observing us, someone who thinks our life should be better and makes decisions to that effect? That our life is reduced to numbers and statistics and someone takes the liberty to actually think for us??? Why have we never questioned this intrusion? Why have we never asked them what right they have?? The icing on the cake is that when we (or should I say we the people) are seen to be making mileage out of this or taking advantage of their "noble" intentions, they crib...yes, they the patrons of mankind get disillusioned and decide we dont deserve to be helped...now we dont remember asking them for help, do we?
And this goes for all of us, we are on both sides, think about it......the only difference is that we probably dont realise it when we are the subjects ...but people in the field, they do, its in their damn face and they dont care...but for all else, the oceans of sentiments come pouring in....sheesh !!!
So I went back to IRMA last week, my alma mater :) .. its almost two years since I graduated.. and we had this mega reunion of all the batches…
What can I say about it??..sigh !!!...for starters, its in Gujarat which my mind automatically translates as good food :)...God bless whoever thought of reunions....they're the perfect happiness pill :)...meeting all your friends….being among people who love you…the lunches and dinners packed with laughter and crazy jokes and truckloads of fun :) …oh, the joy of drinking chai on the mess lawns, lazing in the sun...the exemplary grind and the crazy head-banging you cant do elsewhere…the freedom to wear polka dotted pants and have no one judge you…meeting your old profs…. the nostalgia of seeing your old room and remembering the good times you had…the classrooms, the audi, the baddy court, the chimes…you can get high on just the sheer goodwill and love of the place, I tell you..I just couldn’t get enough….. I’ll post some pics soon…
Seriously, if you haven’t been through post-grad, you’ve missed something in life….graduation doesnt come close by faaaaar, trust me on this...
There is this maid in the neighborhood who once spooked the living daylights out of me when she pinned another woman to the ground and stamped on her repeatedly, mouthing unprintable abuses, all in the middle of the road. See this video I took, though not much can be seen because it was very late in the evening.
It was only a petty quarrel but the things this lady said to the other woman is worse than I can ever imagine, worse than anything I ever heard or read - even if all of us put our heads together for a year, I doubt if we could come up with anything close. Only a diseased mind could say such things.
To me, this lady represented many things - the bitterness and hatred that comes with poverty, the petty mind which cannot think beyond the nuances of street politics and the tough survival instincts that are developed by facing hardships...it was sad and scary at the same time. But I could never forget her cruel behaviour...
The other day I happened to catch her eye though usually I look away...and for some reason she smiled at me...it was quite genuine, and on an impulse I gave her a flower which I happened to have. You should have seen her face light up, I tell you...and after seeing that smile, I suddenly feel hopeful...in general...u know?
Someone had this on their gtalk status a while ago -Too often we underestimate the power of a touch....a smile....a kind word....a listening ear....an honest compliment....or the smallest act of caring....all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
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