'Top'notch

15 long years since I spun a top, the good ol top with the knotted rope , and not one of those "sophisticated" electronic fake ones ..Luckily I was able to buy one in the market even though it is off-season supposedly....The best 5 bucks I ever spent....Brings back such wonderful memories of childhood...Almost makes up for the lousy food, the non-company, the scorching heat and the depressing mood....

- Karambayam, Tanjavur

The not so vast debatabase....

Well, you could say I was totally jobless at 4.30 am in Thanjavur railway station waiting for someone who was supposed to arrive at 7. So for two hours or so this morning I didn't know what to do with myself...Amidst the stares (its actually more pronounced in Tamil Nadu, that is a proven fact now), I decided to be the Devil's advocate for everything I wouldve died defending otherwise...yes, I know there are better ways to kill time...Anyways, after musing for a while, I more or less concluded the following...

Apart from factual/ existential debates, everything else we opine on comes under one of these 2 categories :

1. Whether something ought to be/ have been done and in this/ that way.
2. Who ought to do it/ not do it.

Really, I couldn't find a third...I somehow see a distinction between black-white, on-off, true-false etc and the categories above...I feel it is a subset of the on-off but a super-set of the spirit of the actual debates. Please let me know if you have any that does not fit in...Try it, pick a topic and see. Moreover, all questions more or less agree with any one side of the should be/ should not be controlled frame also. But I haven't thought this one through though...2 hours was not enough you see :)

If you are wondering why this exercise, well...this may sound vague, but I have always wondered (in the biggest possible scheme of things) if everything is same or not, in the sense of belonging to some kind of unifying equation at different levels...I am not really able to articulate what I mean to say coherently, so I will leave it for now....

Creating life

Apologies to my friend KP, for posting this conversation without his permission.

KP: So dont you want to get married and have kids?

Me: Married maybe, if the right guy comes along, but kids, I really dunno.

KP: Why is that? Dont you want to leave behind your genes? And create something from your own flesh and blood? The biggest gift God has given to women...
Me: Umm, no, I dont think my genes are that great.
KP: Come on, tell me why...

Me: Well, I am scared of what I may be creating. We never know how long our journey of existence is. It may not be just this one universe (Well, actually I said this to spook him out )

KP (stunned): What??????????????

Me: What? Whats the prob with that?

KP: Are you mad?
Me: I dont think so, but why do you ask that?
KP: Are you crazy? Is this even a reason?
Me: It could be and this is one reason why adopting makes more sense...
KP: Man, this is one thing you are made a woman for...the ONE power women have that men dont have.
Me: So?
KP: Come on yaar, dont you want to hold a child in your arms? It will give you so much joy.
Me: I could still do that without having my own...
KP: No you cant.
Me: Alright, you seem to know better.
KP: Your own is your own...there is no other..
Me: Ouch...I beg to differ...then how do we justify marriage or even relationships?
KP: Marriages can split...
Me: So do children even if they are your own, except less public fuss and stigma about it....
KP: Dont you want your own family? Dont you want to be a parent?
Me: We can always adopt and still experience that cycle of life.
KP: You are mad...plain mad...
Me: ....
KP: Do you mean to say our parents dont care for us? That they created us without thinking all this?
Me: Umm....
KP: Of course they do
Me: I never said they don't. They care for us, sure, but how long CAN they? Only till we and they are on this earth na?
KP: Oh gawd...I cant believe this is even a reason.
Me: There is only one intelligent argument against this.
KP: What if the soul already exists on this earth and is not born when you create life? Or what if there is no soul at all?
Me: Thats the one....thats the only argument I can think of.
KP: So now its ok right?
Me: But we dont know for sure, and I dont feel like taking the chance.
KP: What is the most important responsibility of any species...
Me: To procreate and ensure its existence???
KP: So arent you shunning your responsibility?
Me: Well, I am not sure mankind will cease to exist if I dont have kids...
KP: What if all think like you?
Me: But they dont, and thats why I have this luxury :)
KP: Whatever...wait, I'll park my car and come...
Me: Ok (Staring at a baby shop near my office)
KP: Now now, this is contradictory behavior... (smiles from ear to ear)..
Me: Huh, I was passing time...lets get ice-cream...
KP: You will never change.....

I would like to say to all the readers of my blog who either happen to have kids or dont think this way, this is not meant to offend anyone or anything. To be honest, I was just pulling his leg that day. But yes, I want to post this conversation since Ive begun to think aloud on my blog....Personally, I dont think I am qualified to have an opinion on this issue either ways....

Sometimes, the conversation I have with myself goes like this:

Me: So what if we create the soul too when we create life? Let them experience whatever there is in store for them...after all man has to beget man...
Me: Yes but we might then be creating something that they have no control to end...and if we wont be there to care for them at all times then maybe we shouldnt...or maybe it doesnt matter what we do if theres no escaping it for them with or without us in the picture....
Me: Well, even taking the best case scenario of this being our only life, even then we should think before we make another spend 70 years on this earth....
Me: Do I really think life on earth is not worth living?
Me: No, not really, depends who I am and what I can give my kids....if kids have to fight for food and shelter, then maybe I shouldnt...as it is life is tough with huge upheavals without fight for survival....
Me: So do such people not deserve a family..
Me: Yes, but at what cost? and to whom?

I would really appreciate comments on this blogpost........

While I sleep

Take a look at this picture. I could look at it forever...It is from the Japanese movie Dreams that I came across which is a beautiful collection of the dreams the director had during various stages of his life. I urge anyone who reads this blogpost to check out the film. The movie is a collection of 8 short dreams and every dream is an experience, intricately woven with emotions and instincts most fundamental and encased beautifully within wondrous sights and experiences , oscillating between inner struggle and peace, hope and despair, love and hate, fear of existence and non-being, our beliefs and intuition and counter-intuition, I could go on and on and on - If you believe in souls, then this one will touch your soul, for you will be forced to acknowledge how much there is that you don't know what you don't know (about yourself). Even if I write pages, I don't think I can do justice to the movie. I also think that each person will get something different out of it, depending on their levels of thought.

Now I must admit that my dreams are a HUGE part of my life. Some people dont dream much but I am not one of them. I dream almost every night. They are scary, funny, thought-provoking, real, absurd...the works. The way I face myself and my life through dreams , I can never do otherwise. I'll bet I dream at least 2-3 hours each night and I invariably remember what I dream. And somethings, like words I never knew but dreamed of, people whose names I learnt in my dreams, things I never knew existed but dreamt of..I even saw a color that I couldn't recognise...Am not able to remember how it looked, much as I try :( ...I cant explain how (maybe the theory that subconscious is actively learning and feeds into your conscious is true) but I can tell you the experience really shakes you. The way I see the people around me, the way I feel about them through the day, the things I hold dear, everything goes topsy-turvy and I feel I am seeing it from outside....

I sometimes feel I live a parallel life that comes alive when I sleep!

As I see it

The play of perspectives !!!

Sophistry at its best

The word diplomatic is slowly beginning to acquire a negative connotation. It somehow conveys that all a diplomatic person does is manage to say unpleasant things sweetly or make a no sound like a yes. Of course, I am talking only about its usage in family or friends' circles. It is also fascinating to find that sophistry is now being made out to be witty and is being looked upon as something desirable. Consider these:

Q: Do you know if there is a plot against him?
A: No
It appears to be a straight answer. But then...There is no plot or you don't know?

Here is another similar example:

Q: Are you saying that the Prime Minister is not subject to the Official Secrets Act?
A: No
Q: No he is, or no he isn't?
A: Yes

Another:

Q: Is the rumour true?
A: Yes
Q: Really?
A: Yes, Its true that it is rumoured.

But this takes the cake:

"....the inquiries reveal a hideous web of corruption that forms a blot on the functioning of the Government..."

Make a wild guess on how inane the interpretation of the above statement can get??....I am sure you wouldn't have bargained for this one:

Webs form blots. But this can't be true since spiders don't have ink. So the statement is wrong!!!

Don't tear your hair out yet...It can get worse.....With another flash of inspiration:

Webs can't form blots since spiders don't have ink. Only cuttlefish.

For a wild moment , let us assume that the above statement is made in good faith. It is supposed to convey that webs can't form blots, since spiders don't have ink. And only cuttlefish can form blots (since they have ink?).

But consider the following interpretations which are also possible:

1. Webs can't form blots, they can form only cuttlefish.
2. Spiders don't have ink, they have only cuttlefish.

Equally probable, maybe technically correct but unbelievably asinine. This style of speaking is becoming increasingly popular. Right from conversations over the dinner table to all the "comedy shows". I really miss dry, sarcastic, subtle humor which is hard to find in popular media.

The above examples are examples of sophistry taken from the Yes Minister series since I couldn't bring myself to quote from the Laughter Challenge or similar other shows, which I have to watch, thanks to my brother. Challenge is the right word.

The cost of one rupee

Take a look at this:

I gave my friend the following options and asked him to choose.

Option A - Rs. 50,000
Option B - A 50-50 chance on Rs. 1 lakh.

(Please substitute the rupee with whatever currency you think in, and for those who don't use the term, One lakh is 1,00,000).

He said he will go with option A. So I reduced option A to Rs. 25,000 and asked him to choose. Still it was option A. I further reduced A to Rs. 20,000 - still it was option A. So I reduced option A further still to Rs. 15,000/- and THEN he says option B. So the turning point was somewhere between 15,000 and 20,000. We decided to find out exactly where. So we tried 15,500, 16,000 etc. It transpired that the the choice flipped at Rs. 17,500. So, to put it more lucidly:

Option A - Rs. 17,500
Option B - A 50-50 chance on Rs. 1 lakh

He will choose option A. If I reduce A by a mere one rupee to 17,499, he would choose option B.

This made me wonder - In the ordinary course if I asked him to give away one rupee, he would do it without thinking even once, let alone twice. Why is it that the same one rupee is making him gamble 17,499?? Yes, you would reply that it is the perceived reward of a probable one lakh, but if you look at it aside from the one lakh, it is very puzzling.

We go blue in the face bargaining at a roadside shop or with an auto-driver, and its sometimes a question of just 10 rupees to make or break the deal. But the same 10 rupees if charged to us as extra by CCD or Pizza Hut, many of us would not even notice. I sometimes drink tea at restaurants because I don't want to pay the extra 10 rupees for coffee. But I would still buy that pair of Levis jeans even if it costs 500 bucks more.

Money takes on different values in different contexts. The perceived cost of money is different to us at different places. And if you look at how inconsistent it is, its mind-boggling. Somehow, we are not able to think in terms of "real" money, outside of the context of where we spend it. We crib about spending 1 rupee more per SMS or feel cheated if we pay 10 bucks more to the auto guy. But we don't really differentiate between 10,000 and 10,500 while buying a new phone. While buying a laptop, a margin of 2-3 thousand is ok. While buying a car, we dont let an extra 25,000 influence our choice. If it is a flat, then an added 50,000 doesn't really count when we are spending 45-50 lakhs. We see money only in the backdrop of things, never on its own.

I have always tried not to be penny-wise and pound foolish. But I now realise that being pound-wise and penny-foolish is equally dumb, even though it might cost you less.