Apologies to my friend KP, for posting this conversation without his permission.
KP: So dont you want to get married and have kids?
Me: Married maybe, if the right guy comes along, but kids, I really dunno.
KP: Why is that? Dont you want to leave behind your genes? And create something from your own flesh and blood? The biggest gift God has given to women...
Me: Umm, no, I dont think my genes are that great.
KP: Come on, tell me why...
Me: Umm, no, I dont think my genes are that great.
KP: Come on, tell me why...
Me: Well, I am scared of what I may be creating. We never know how long our journey of existence is. It may not be just this one universe (Well, actually I said this to spook him out )
KP (stunned): What?????????????? Me: What? Whats the prob with that?
KP: Are you mad?Me: I dont think so, but why do you ask that?
KP: Are you crazy? Is this even a reason?
Me: It could be and this is one reason why adopting makes more sense...
KP: Man, this is one thing you are made a woman for...the ONE power women have that men dont have.
Me: So?
KP: Come on yaar, dont you want to hold a child in your arms? It will give you so much joy.
Me: I could still do that without having my own...
KP: No you cant.
Me: Alright, you seem to know better.
KP: Your own is your own...there is no other..
Me: Ouch...I beg to differ...then how do we justify marriage or even relationships?
KP: Marriages can split...
Me: So do children even if they are your own, except less public fuss and stigma about it....
KP: Dont you want your own family? Dont you want to be a parent?
Me: We can always adopt and still experience that cycle of life.
KP: You are mad...plain mad...
Me: ....
KP: Do you mean to say our parents dont care for us? That they created us without thinking all this?
Me: Umm....
KP: Of course they do
Me: I never said they don't. They care for us, sure, but how long CAN they? Only till we and they are on this earth na?
KP: Oh gawd...I cant believe this is even a reason.
Me: There is only one intelligent argument against this.
KP: What if the soul already exists on this earth and is not born when you create life? Or what if there is no soul at all?
Me: Thats the one....thats the only argument I can think of.
KP: So now its ok right?
Me: But we dont know for sure, and I dont feel like taking the chance.
KP: What is the most important responsibility of any species...
Me: To procreate and ensure its existence???
KP: So arent you shunning your responsibility?
Me: Well, I am not sure mankind will cease to exist if I dont have kids...
KP: What if all think like you?
Me: But they dont, and thats why I have this luxury :)
KP: Whatever...wait, I'll park my car and come...
Me: Ok (Staring at a baby shop near my office)
KP: Now now, this is contradictory behavior... (smiles from ear to ear)..
Me: Huh, I was passing time...lets get ice-cream...
KP: You will never change.....
I would like to say to all the readers of my blog who either happen to have kids or dont think this way, this is not meant to offend anyone or anything. To be honest, I was just pulling his leg that day. But yes, I want to post this conversation since Ive begun to think aloud on my blog....Personally, I dont think I am qualified to have an opinion on this issue either ways....
Sometimes, the conversation I have with myself goes like this:
Me: So what if we create the soul too when we create life? Let them experience whatever there is in store for them...after all man has to beget man...
Me: Yes but we might then be creating something that they have no control to end...and if we wont be there to care for them at all times then maybe we shouldnt...or maybe it doesnt matter what we do if theres no escaping it for them with or without us in the picture....
Me: Well, even taking the best case scenario of this being our only life, even then we should think before we make another spend 70 years on this earth....
Me: Do I really think life on earth is not worth living?
Me: No, not really, depends who I am and what I can give my kids....if kids have to fight for food and shelter, then maybe I shouldnt...as it is life is tough with huge upheavals without fight for survival....
Me: So do such people not deserve a family..
Me: Yes, but at what cost? and to whom?
I would really appreciate comments on this blogpost........
Posts
4 comments:
Ok, I'll play devil's advocate to your devil's advocate (doesn't logically imply I agree with your friend though). What if the reason you don't want to have kids is that that is what everyone does - i.e. your disinclination to have children is a social construct (man-made), destroying the so-called "natural inclination" theory.
By the way, hat-tip to you for the disinclination to have children. This compliment has two components - first off, figuring out that having children is a choice, and not imposed on every human being who enters matrimony. Second, on the idea itself. Here is a bunch of reasons why having kids needs to be thought through. (a) People impact other people. Every day of every year, through millions of small and large decisions/choices or simply by being in a certain place at a certain time. You do not know what kind of person your child will be. Should you risk a potential negative impact, under the more realistic assumption that parents do not control their children's character or habits. (b) The earth - is already groaning under the consumption profile of over 6 billion human beings. From a natural balance perspective, we should probably aim more towards reduction than addition. (c) Children, all over this world, are orphaned/starved/exploited/enslaved. If a choice has to be made between raising a fatted little infant and saving a child's future, what would you rather do? (d) Your life - will change completely once you have children, and this change is irreversible. Your preferences (can't keep the economist down) may not lean towards this change. That's completely normal and you have every right to prefer whatever you want.
Xoxo,
Shruthi
hmmm....The Will...[DEVIL]...opphss....De Bait...[DEBATE]...err is human naa...
hey to ur previous post....darwin needed some evidence to make his point clear in his thesis... so proliferate/not but the world won't stop...again its an individual's choice (wonder!! so many animals studied in da name of research...hmmm..else how wud we ever advance so soon??).
Kalyani, I guess you mean it doesnt matter what we do, the world will anyways go on....:):)But unfortunately we are not at that exalted level that ANYTHING we do (at a personal level) has an impact...unless of course, you have access to the nuclear trigger :))
arey yaar the world is evident.....nuclear stuff...living things had to bear the consequences...moreover dahling, I meant its an INDIVIDUAL'S CHOICE...restrain/unleash...in the end it doesn't matter...Woteva! In the long run, we are all dead anyways.. :))
Post a Comment