American Girl in Paris!

I have a curious problem with this blog - I am unable to write happy posts anymore...And Ive gotten my cheap thrills although I wish I hadnt...But seriously..when I come here, all the glowing drafts in my head turn blurry and gradually disappear like fog from glass...I cant write about my work..or my friends...or my feelings...anymore!! What I can write about is the new things I did...Its like a conditioned response..

And its not funny!

The Nommo & the Sirius

Yes, thats is all the clarity we have for now atleast. But I'll keep my word and give you something about the Nommo, in case you may want.

So I am currently living in with a guy. No, nothing like that - even if my facebook relationship status reads Its complicated. But its not....I mean, nothing in life is at present...Anyway, he is my colleague and from Brazil, and married at that, and we have this HUUGE house with roses in the garden, sugarcane plants in the backyard, a private terrace to ourselves, we even have comforters...I could cry I tell you.... we work, we cook, we cycle, we trek, we take holidays, we're even thinking of tap-dancing - Its the perfect non-ideal situation, and as oxymoronic as it can get.

And in my other work-world, I went on a holiday to Dehradun with colleagues..we went rafting in the Ganga river (so we're pure now, dont miss that), and visited Haradwar which is a freaky place with an alarming number of "spiritual gurus"..and I discovered hills are depressing ...they're ok to visit but not to live...still, it was a fun holiday...we took spas, collected handmade soaps, saw the Tehri Dam, lit campfires, talked, danced, laughed, boozed ...and since I am feeling generous, here are some pics. Yes I am deluded, you neednt tell me that :)

And I am beginning not to see the point of this post or this blog either for that matter, but I guess I am coming through pretty clearly which saves me a lot of writing...and heres the bit on the Nommo I promised - well, not about Nommo obviously...come on, I cant do all the work...

Scientists report that no creature on Earth dreams as much as the human fetus. Now what can the tabula rasa dream about? Do we, for a moment imagine that the tiny swimmer's dreams are dry? That no Nommo splash therein? That the mood is other than oceanic?

There! I am done. Now are you any wiser?

What is the source of water for your house?

PIPED INTO DWELLING . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
PIPED TO YARD/PLOT . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 37
PUBLIC TAP/STANDPIPE . . . . . . . . . . 13
TUBE WELL OR BOREHOLE . . . . . . . . . . 21
DUG WELL
PROTECTED WELL . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 34
UNPROTECTED WELL . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
WATER FROM SPRING
PROTECTED SPRING . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
UNPROTECTED SPRING . . . . . . . . . . 42
RAINWATER 51 37
TANKER TRUCK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
CART WITH SMALL TANK . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
SURFACE WATER (RIVER/DAM/ 34
LAKE/POND/STREAM/CANAL/
IRRIGATION CHANNEL) . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
BOTTLED WATER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91

There has got to be a reason....there simply has to be....

Anger

I cant believe I have anger management issues. Worse, I am having difficulty expressing my anger. Worst, its anger about things that happened in the past. I dont know what brought it on suddenly but I remembered  certain incidents and the people who expected me to take pain they themselves wouldn't want to even begin to experience...that they tried to make me believe I am a bad person for reacting to something they caused because they were scared to do the right thing....that they conveniently overlooked what brought it on and chose to judge only my  reaction.....That they brushed it off saying  that it is something I should face anyway  and blamed me for being so sensitive.... Sensitive, my ass! Its good for them that they are in my past, since I am getting over the difficulty in expressing anger bit real fast...

Its just a phase....(breathe)...its just a phase.... and I really should stop taking it out on friends who have always been there for me....if you are reading this, I really apologize for yesterday!

The Matchstick Economy

Have you ever wondered what margins stockists would make on a matchbox costing 50p. 5p? 10p? It is a volume game but is it worth the opportunity cost of their investment? So it seemed worthwhile to study the fascinating matchstick economy and here are my notes:

Now I dont have to remind you that like the table salt, matches are not a marketeer's friend. 

1. Do you care which brand the shopkeeper gives you when you ask for them?

2. Do you even know of any differences between the brands?

3. Would it affect you if their price went up from 50p to say 60p?

4. Do you ever count to see how many matches are there in your box? Would you notice if were 10 less?

5. How can matches be marketed? Ads on TV? Even if so, do you really care enough  to make a conscious purchasing decision?

..and so forth.Given all this, what is the incentive for a manufacturer to make good matches? 

I could not find any numbers for the matchstick economy in India. So I visited a few matchstick manufacturing hubs last week to understand their pricing. Here are the costs per box

Manufacturing - < 5p

Packaging - 3p + 2p

Transportation - 5p

Total < 15p

Commission for Middleman 1 = 2p

Commission for Middleman 2 = 3p

Wholesale commission = 3p

Retail commission = 5p

So the box of matches for which you pay 50p costs around 28p. Its good business. 

Woman1 has spent her around 30 years of her life stuffing matchsticks into boxes. She has to count 70 sticks and fill a box. For every 200 boxes she fills, she is paid six rupees. In a day she  and her co-workers fill as many as 2000 boxes, thereby earning 60 rupees. Woman2 packs the boxes into cartons. 200 boxes make a mini carton. She is paid 1 rupee a carton and packs around 50 cartons with 10000 boxes a day, thereby  earning  50 rupees. Woman1 and Woman2 work as a team from 7 in the morning to 6 in the evening. 

Middleman 1 is very astute. He inherently assumes that 10% of the boxes are faulty so he asks for 10% more stock. In a day he transports 1,00,000 boxes on an average earning 1300 rupees a day after costs   Middleman 2 charges more because transporting to a city is expensive you see, so he earns around 2000 a day on the same stock. The wholesale shop makes 2500 a day and the retail shop makes 4000 rupees if it has to sell the same 100,000 boxes.

As always, each one earns in proportion to the work they do. Thats how good a business this is!

Not here, not now.....not ever!

I'd written this some months back, but didnt feel like posting it then...

If we were caveman and cavewoman, we wouldve grunted approvingly at the same dinosaur carcass, never mind the imagery!

Thats when I knew he & I could be friends. Here was a guy who made me laugh....In about half an hour, we felt like old friends, it was that easy...

We actually met through this blog. He even lasted through the whole of it (he is evidently made of stern stuff ) and we got talking. Now I wasnt attracted to him or anything, I really wasnt....but this guy seemed incredibly nice, had a good sense of humor, was really interesting to talk to...and his blog was simply amazing......and after months of having no one to talk to and using my phone just as an alarm, it seemed it could have messages I could look forward to again...somebody would actually care to ask if I  reached home safe....I might even wake up with good morning messages again ...I would have somebody to call whenever I felt like, someone who would genuinely love to hear from me....

Now I'm not as stupid as you think though I tend to get carried away by a kind word, and this learning from mistakes is something my pea-brain is capable of.....and as immodest as I may sound, my little brain is fast... if you call six hours fast...and I call it fast...when compared to  say, a year or two...anyways, so when he called back at 2 am after a 4 hour talk just to say he missed me, my brain decided to do something it hasnt before...to pull the plug, and set off the alarm and call the cops....

You see, we had gtalked for 2 about hours asking each other loaded questions like colors or shades? ...and there are very few people I can last on gtalk with....and fewer for more than an hour...and only one person for more than 2 hours....no really, there is only one....so we chucked gtalk and and spoke for about 4 hours...now you get the six hour logic?...and as amazing as the conversation was,  I decided it was long enough....

Why? Because I wasnt feeling "that way"...and I knew I wont  either...blah blah....so my intelligent and considerate suggestion that we should stop talking immediately was put forth and the phone was hung up....

My brain, though smart asks too many questions for my liking - Did I make a mistake? After all, there are not make people who speak my language...what if I lost out on a great friend??...what if I culdve really learnt a lot from this guy?...what if I missed out on loads of fun??? You see, theres not much my brain doesnt think of....

Oh and I forgot to mention he saw it fit to ask me out in the meanwhile and I saw it fit to  reciprocate by  literally bashing his teeth in just because I was angry with all guys in general.....and thats how we sweetly parted...

But you see, almost immediately since then, a new man came into my life...waving a broom and shaking a slipper....the great lawyer (drumroll please !!!)...and got me into a hole so deep that I needed a fireman without a collarbone to rescue me (ok, I know!)...but beggars cant be choosers...so out of the window went my indignation about being asked out..and the roles were reversed pretty quickly...I was pretty much like I dont care how you treat me, but someone please talk to me...

Of course now...he has a brain too right??? ...so he told me to fuck off and I took it pretty badly...now you know I really meant it when I said roles were reversed...fortunately, I had a life (albeit without people in it) so I lived on...

Two months later... lo & behold!  - hes in my city!!!

Hey, can we meet?
Lets do coffee?

How about dinner??

(Some people sure have this incredibly ability to pretend as if nothing was wrong)~!

Yeah right! Like in hell !!! Not even to save my life! And I looked the other way.... even on gtalk!

If you know me, you'll know this is no big deal...these things always happen to me (or I make them happen depending on which way you prefer to see it)...You see, someone once told me that I am the type to reach out to people only when I am "alone and in the dark"....whatever else I may be, I know thats not true now... and I prefer to leave it here....

But I know I did the right thing this time...

Third Wheel

It is really saddening to see posts after posts where someone is desparately trying to move on. I wish I could link to her blog here to show you but I cant. Though I barely know her, I check on her everyday to see if she is ok, and mostly she is not...Since theres nothing anyone can do, we've all taken to leaving really nasty comments on the guy's blog..

But theres this one thing he wrote which got me thinking.

Relationship is not a business deal. Its not about what it right or good for you...Its about what makes you happy, where your heart is...

How true! Wish all parents would get this...