So far so good.

Went to pick up my cousion today in Terminal 3 at the New Delhi airport thats just opened up for domestic flights...

Listened to my uncle telling me that the rent of his flat just doubled..

My aunt told me about a wedding she attended yesterday with whos-who in Delhi amongst the guests... 

Watched We The People on NDTV about the Telecom Spectrun Scam...

Read Rakhi Sawant saying that she is walking with God because her name is mentioned along with Shah Rukh and Amitab..

Have to attend a conference on helping the poor in one of the most expensive hotels in the city this week..

I suddenly feel very scared :(

Life's Haircut?

I havent eaten in days. The choices on the menu are rabbits, dogs and peacocks. Yes, I did say peacocks.

Arunkulam is a tiny hamlet – its a really remote village in the Ottapidaram block of Tamil Nadu. The population of this hamlet is around 30 households. Everyone looks the same. The same! You will believe it only if you see it. You too will look like them if you stay here long enough.

People actually hunt for food. Each house has atleast 4 blood hounds. They are used for hunting rabbit. The dogs get to keep the limbs and people eat the rest. A convinient arrangement. If no rabbits are available, people eat dogs. Miles and miles of land stretch all around the village. Dry as dust land! Not a soul or a building or a shop in sight but a peacock calls to you every now and then.

You’d rather not eat becuase it is easier that way. The food is taken from another plate.You’d rather not sleep becuase its safer that way. The wolves might take your life away. You’d rather not bathe because its cleaner that way. The water is liquid plague.

The people here are resigned to fate. They neither know nor care what goes on in the rest of the world. Their life’s aim is to stay alive. Disease and poverty are their inseparable companions. They dont even own their time. Someone decided, someone they never met, generations ago, that their life will be somebody else’s labor.

Your cellphone mocks the village by getting signal at one particular spot on one particluar hillock at one particular angle. It hurts to think or feel in this place. It physically hurts!

I haven’t eaten in days. But thats my only problem. How did I get so lucky?

What is the source of water for your house?

PIPED INTO DWELLING . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
PIPED TO YARD/PLOT . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 37
PUBLIC TAP/STANDPIPE . . . . . . . . . . 13
TUBE WELL OR BOREHOLE . . . . . . . . . . 21
DUG WELL
PROTECTED WELL . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 34
UNPROTECTED WELL . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
WATER FROM SPRING
PROTECTED SPRING . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
UNPROTECTED SPRING . . . . . . . . . . 42
RAINWATER 51 37
TANKER TRUCK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
CART WITH SMALL TANK . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
SURFACE WATER (RIVER/DAM/ 34
LAKE/POND/STREAM/CANAL/
IRRIGATION CHANNEL) . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
BOTTLED WATER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91

There has got to be a reason....there simply has to be....

If I ruled the world - II

The dimly lit yellow lamp reminds you that you are all alone in a hotel room in an indistinct town. Its around 5 am in the morning, and you know you should wake up soon to catch that train to that village with an unpronounceable name. You have a dull headache and fever and are dreading the day which stretches painfully in front of you.

The days' newspaper is pushed brusquely under your door. Weary, but determined to get up, you drag yourself out of bed and glance at it through half-opened eyes.

The enormous headlines leap back at you - http://www.hindu.com/2010/02/17/stories/2010021758220100.htm

You are jolted out of your slumber, the drudgery disappears as if by magic,

the weariness is replaced by an emotion you cant quite place...something like terrible anger.... for some reason you think it mustve been love, but its over now.......

oh if only...!!!

before you can say parasite....!!!

Types of poverty

I didnt know I was poor. Well, spiritually poor! You may be economically rich but your maid is socially richer because she has more friends and more goodwill.  Lack of fitness is physically poor.

And theres intellectually poor, emotionally poor, etc..Dont have a strong mind? Mentally poor, arent you? :) But the best Ive heard is if you are artificial, you are naturally poor.. :)

On a more serious note, I guess all of us are poor in one way or the other and thereby there is an equality of sorts prevailing....

Should be interesting to see what happens if these ideas become mainstream and translate into real gains. This kind of a leveler will  definitely lead to some well-deserving inverted-snobbery :)

Too bad we cant derive much mileage out of these though. Not yet, anyway...Whatever!!

Just dropping in

Well, Ive been keeping myself busy enough over the past week and generally staying out of trouble, although sometimes I have this crazy urge to tempt fate ...the last few months were wonderfully numb, and now its high on emotions....what with this terrible sense of restlessness that I just cant shake off...

You know, a friend of mine recently submitted this blog for review and the reviewers said that it seemed as if a different person had written each post...isnt that funny?? :)  I would never have thought so...They also said that my blog needs a consistent personality and that they were not able to tag it...well, what do I say to that?? : )

But you know, maybe I should think about what they said...and its true that off-late I feel the lack of an anchor very keenly....seriously....and people are so grounded in reality...they find comfort in their routines and everything matters to them....sometimes a part of me wishes I was like them...and  sometimes I hope I never ever become like them....see, even my outlook is not consistent :(

I dont know what I am waiting for really....these small occasional surges of hope that everything will miraculously fall in place....but they wont no? Things will never get alright, will they??? Its like the seasons of the year...you live through each and they are different and so you dont feel the monotony..but thats just a sham cos its repetitive... and therefore Ive come to conclude that we are a very optimistic species :)

And I really dont like being made to feel like I have choices when I dont, if you get my drift....thats the only lesson Ive really learnt so far...and it applies to all of us...think about it...the shallower the waters you test, the less evident it will be to you...Huh!! So much for optimism !!!

Anyways, most of this is rhetoric and its not even fair that I waste blogspace on all this...esp on New Years Eve and all that....if I cant write peppy posts, the least I can do is to not descend gloom on you right ? :)

So I better sign off here...
Happy New Year!!

A visit of sorts - nD musings

It will take around 14,000 million years to travel to the edge of the observable Universe, even if we travel at the speed of light. 

The operative word here is observable. This fact never ceases to astound me. How distressingly small are we! It is as if the Universe and its existence is this wondrous machine and we on Earth have access to one tiny part of it. And with our limited resources and our exposure to that tiny part, we are trying to fathom how the entire machine works...

This may never happen because we are limited by our abilities. For example, we know that some animals and birds can see colors that we can’t see or hear sounds that we can’t hear. There may be countless other such things  we may never know of. So how can we understand something if we are not aware that it is there?

Moreover, we are limited to a mere three dimensions (apart from time) while the Superstring Theory accurately predicts ten dimensions of space and time in existence. Think of the huge limitations we face because of this!

Just as an example of what we might be missing, imagine a 2D world like a sheet of paper. Take a look at this picture I’ve painstakingly drawn. Person A (the one with a red left arm and a green right arm ) can never assume the position of person B (arm color reversed) in a 2D scenario simply because there is no height or rather the space to make the transition. Left and right cannot be interchaged on a 2D surface. But we in 3D can lift him up, simply flip him over and he can be converted to person B. So what seems impossible in a 2D world is easy in 3D.

Interestingly, A can be converted to B if he moves on a Mobius Strip (see pic). Just take a strip of paper, twist it in the center and join the edges. So if A moves along the surface of the strip, even in a 2D world, he can flip over. So it is possible, after all...Wouldnt it be awesome if we too had something like this? Ive racked my brains enough to come up with a possible counterpart in 3D, but no avail. If you have any ideas, please tell me.

Imagine the miracles we can perform if we had access to just another dimension. But unfortunately, we can’t even imagine it :( Access to a fourth dimension would definitely give us God-like powers. For instance, we can walk out of closed doors, pass right through objects, see everything that happens on the Earth at any given moment, etc. To understand this, once again consider a person who is in prison in a 2D world (see pic). So for him to get out, the circle around him should be broken. But we in 3D can lift him out; wont it seem miraculous to the other people in 2D that he got out without breaking the circle? So think of similar miracles someone in a higher dimension can perform on us?

Ive thought a lot about this. Its very unsettling. The possibilities are unending. Think about this – we believe that our Earth is rotating and revolving around the Sun. What if someone from a higher dimension who can see it from outside in its entirety tells us that the Earth is actually stationary and it is everything else that is moving? Yeah, I know this is far-fetched :) But really, what if all our beliefs are false?

That’s anyways happening now - Space is flat is turning out to be a baseless assumption – we now find it more likely to be curved. Moreover, the shortest distance between two points need not be a straight line. It could be an interstellar chasm. Oh, the possibilities….

Anyhow, the laws of nature formulated on Earth seem counter-intuitive since they are fragmented and disparate, almost inelegant I would say. And by saying this, I mean absolutely no disrespect to all the brilliant theoretical physicists who spent their lives discovering and formulating them. All I am saying is that it seems as if they are the parts of a jigsaw puzzle which even after pieced together completely makes no sense. And that’s supposed to be the beauty of the fourth dimension - the laws have “space” to fit there and that one glorifying equation can emerge.

But speaking of nature, I think man is unnatural. This is my personal opinion – because as we know, nature always abhors a gradient but man totally thrives on it.

Another brick in the wall

I guess I should be posting my lessons learnt from the lawyer melodrama, but it is still underway, and me too exhausted to write about it now, so I'll settle for rubbing my friday melancholy off on you. Twilight, dusk and eventually the dark - theres no better place to watch it than through your office window, when all others have left because they have plans.....when the call to prayer from the Mosque nearby is your cue to leave for the day...

Some people put it a lot better than I.

All for what?

I am depressed today, so oh faithful blog-reader, close this window right now if you dont want it to rub off on you....

Well, looks like you have chosen to read ahead, so I'll tell you how it started...

This morning, over coffee, while reading the newpapers' perspectives on Independence Day, I asked my friend what he thought were the three most pressing problems India faced today. To my surprise, it elicited this novel response.

1. There is no system to enable people to optimally use their diverse talent and skills.

2. Urban Planning is a concern - as people move away from villages to cities, there is congestion and overuse of resources.

3. There is too much Government intereference and monopoly in the public transport services.

Well, whatever else I woudve come up with if I were asked this question, it definitely would not have been the above.

When I voiced that corruption is a really big problem that has widely far-reaching impact, he said to read his first point again. If a person has enougth opportunity to do what he really loves and gets paid for it, it is improbable that he would be corrupt. When I said that there are too many conflicting and vested interests, he said that thats how a democracy works and only if your case is convincing, it should be allowed to take off. I then pointed out that its unlikely for that to happen given the corruption but that brought us back to his first point again. I then said that the so-called democracy seems to be backfiring with politicians only catering to please their vote banks and getting re-elected. Incredibly, this again went back to his first point meaning that most politicians werent in it to "serve the country", so thats why the conflict of interest.

So what IS the first point really? That everyone should ideally do what they love and the world will fall in place on its own?? If we extend the specifcs, it simply means if all are happy, things will be fine.

Now, I have always wondered what will happen if we take away poverty, hunger, global warming, financial recession, disease, terrorism, communalism....every damn problem that we have in the World today...what if we have a totally problem-free World, where all have enough to eat, a job they love, a roof over their heads, money in their pockets, are healthy, happy, secure, have the same faith etc....would we still have war? What would we fight for? Power over others? Why, of course. Let us assume that somehow, that too is given, that each feels they are the supreme power over others..now what? Would they now be happy? I somehow dont think so... Why? That will take away their reason to live each day, right? So if there is nothing left for you to achieve, then too you would be unhappy right?

There is enough literature, evidence and theory to prove the above to be true. To quote a very commonly used one, take the theory of marginal utility in economics which to put it simply, states that with more of something, the less you will value it.

So really what is the solution? Oops, there doesnt seem to be one... I somehow feel that mankind has probably worked all this out and chooses to be in a state of happiness-sorrow that has a short turnaround time (i.e., the status quo), which seems worth it even in face of the long stretches of happiness given that it is accompanied by stretches of meaninglessness. After all, there are many who have said that it is not desirable for the us to bridge the financial divide right? The consequences of that arent supposed to be desirable for mankind...So think what will happen if we bridge every divide?

As I once read in Calvin., which sums up the above perfectly with

"The torment of existence weighed against the horror of non-being"...

Dont blame me, I TOLD you I was depressed....

Lucky by Chance

This morning I woke up screaming - I guess I had a bad dream...now you know what they say, take a deep breath and calm down...only I found I couldn't...for those who dont know, I am prone to wheezing (now if you dont know what that is, go thank your stars RIGHT NOW)...so no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't breathe, each breath was a herculean effort, a condition I would choose hell over...and what made it worse than hell was that I realised that I had misplaced my inhaler...

By some fortune or good luck, I was at home, and all I had to do was to tell someone....within 5 minutes I had an inhaler in my hand...someone else had done it all....my driver went and got it, someone paid for it...all I had to do was to ask for it....

Still, that 5 minutes of waiting seemed like an eternity, I wouldve said yes to anything to end it....

What about who don't have easy access to a medical store? What about those who cant afford the 100 bucks for it? What about those who don't have people to rescue them??

Guess I am one lucky soul....but why? By what virtue?

Creating life

Apologies to my friend KP, for posting this conversation without his permission.

KP: So dont you want to get married and have kids?

Me: Married maybe, if the right guy comes along, but kids, I really dunno.

KP: Why is that? Dont you want to leave behind your genes? And create something from your own flesh and blood? The biggest gift God has given to women...
Me: Umm, no, I dont think my genes are that great.
KP: Come on, tell me why...

Me: Well, I am scared of what I may be creating. We never know how long our journey of existence is. It may not be just this one universe (Well, actually I said this to spook him out )

KP (stunned): What??????????????

Me: What? Whats the prob with that?

KP: Are you mad?
Me: I dont think so, but why do you ask that?
KP: Are you crazy? Is this even a reason?
Me: It could be and this is one reason why adopting makes more sense...
KP: Man, this is one thing you are made a woman for...the ONE power women have that men dont have.
Me: So?
KP: Come on yaar, dont you want to hold a child in your arms? It will give you so much joy.
Me: I could still do that without having my own...
KP: No you cant.
Me: Alright, you seem to know better.
KP: Your own is your own...there is no other..
Me: Ouch...I beg to differ...then how do we justify marriage or even relationships?
KP: Marriages can split...
Me: So do children even if they are your own, except less public fuss and stigma about it....
KP: Dont you want your own family? Dont you want to be a parent?
Me: We can always adopt and still experience that cycle of life.
KP: You are mad...plain mad...
Me: ....
KP: Do you mean to say our parents dont care for us? That they created us without thinking all this?
Me: Umm....
KP: Of course they do
Me: I never said they don't. They care for us, sure, but how long CAN they? Only till we and they are on this earth na?
KP: Oh gawd...I cant believe this is even a reason.
Me: There is only one intelligent argument against this.
KP: What if the soul already exists on this earth and is not born when you create life? Or what if there is no soul at all?
Me: Thats the one....thats the only argument I can think of.
KP: So now its ok right?
Me: But we dont know for sure, and I dont feel like taking the chance.
KP: What is the most important responsibility of any species...
Me: To procreate and ensure its existence???
KP: So arent you shunning your responsibility?
Me: Well, I am not sure mankind will cease to exist if I dont have kids...
KP: What if all think like you?
Me: But they dont, and thats why I have this luxury :)
KP: Whatever...wait, I'll park my car and come...
Me: Ok (Staring at a baby shop near my office)
KP: Now now, this is contradictory behavior... (smiles from ear to ear)..
Me: Huh, I was passing time...lets get ice-cream...
KP: You will never change.....

I would like to say to all the readers of my blog who either happen to have kids or dont think this way, this is not meant to offend anyone or anything. To be honest, I was just pulling his leg that day. But yes, I want to post this conversation since Ive begun to think aloud on my blog....Personally, I dont think I am qualified to have an opinion on this issue either ways....

Sometimes, the conversation I have with myself goes like this:

Me: So what if we create the soul too when we create life? Let them experience whatever there is in store for them...after all man has to beget man...
Me: Yes but we might then be creating something that they have no control to end...and if we wont be there to care for them at all times then maybe we shouldnt...or maybe it doesnt matter what we do if theres no escaping it for them with or without us in the picture....
Me: Well, even taking the best case scenario of this being our only life, even then we should think before we make another spend 70 years on this earth....
Me: Do I really think life on earth is not worth living?
Me: No, not really, depends who I am and what I can give my kids....if kids have to fight for food and shelter, then maybe I shouldnt...as it is life is tough with huge upheavals without fight for survival....
Me: So do such people not deserve a family..
Me: Yes, but at what cost? and to whom?

I would really appreciate comments on this blogpost........

An ordinary day !!!

An ordinary day for me - nothing eventful, no earth shattering events or anything to write home about. Another day on earth unscathed. I got lucky again. But every moment means something to someone else. You see an ambulance pass by and wonder what each moment means to someone else- someone must have gotten married today, someone else had a baby, yet someone lost a job or a parent or a pet, someone else had a heart broken or suffered some tragic loss, yet some others went through life altering moments, maybe today is the happiest day of their lives....Maybe I too should ask for today to be a red-letter day, but then maybe I should be thankful it was just an ordinary day:)

Taking it all in !!!

On your holiday trips, esp if you are traveling by road, you make a random stop - at an eating joint for a quick snack, a small teashop for a cup of coffee or even a house to ask for directions. You get what you want and walk out. Its when I say goodbye to these people that it hits me - I may never see them again. It then hits me that I have shared 5 minutes of my life with them, and thats all I know of them. I dismiss them and probably will never think of them again. But then it dawns on me that they too have lived an entire life like me. The walls of the shop, the plants outside the house have seen so many like me who come to talk to them. Why do we always think that only places of historical significance have witnessed events? The amount of significance the incidents that make history have to the rest of the world is the same that these people's lives have to them. And WHY WHY WHY am I not able to drink it all in? Why cant I be a part of everything that happens in every place at every time? Why is it that we feel some places or people or events are more important than others? I shudder when I think that I will die without seeing every nook and corner of this one world. And whats more painful is that my visiting any place is important only to me. We are all specks of dust in this mighty mighty universe. Can we ever take it all in? Should we even dare to desire such a thing and dedicate our lives to it? Even if we do, what difference does it make to anyone else?

Frozen Moments

Whenever I see people idling on the roadside, waiting for a bus or even shopping for vegetables, I always wonder if they are even aware of what hits me painfully - precious moments of our life are slipping away forever and we have nothing to show for it. Time I believe is the most elusive of all our assets, the most unforgiving and the most irreversible. Thoughts like these haunt me everyday while sitting in an auto or while waiting at the post office. What can save us? I feel jealous of people whose mind has not crossed this thought since they live in blissful oblivion. There are yet others who argue that good can also be perceived as the absence of bad, and if you haven't been hurting anybody, you are doing ok, even if your time has been "wasted". Some others might yet argue that people like me cant appreciate the small happiness that comes from doing nothing at all, yet others will argue that there is fun in waiting at the bus stop. Somehow it never has been for me, and when I do these things, a terrible sense of restlessness hits me and I just am not able to shake it off. But then WHAT is a good investment of time? Spending time with your loved ones? Reading a good book? Taking a long walk? Painting a picture or listening to music? Volunteering or helping someone out? I guess when we rate all activities as a measure of how better or worse we couldve utilised the same time, and how unique or regular they are, life throws up an entirely different picture.