Slaves of the Lake

I'll admit I was feeling uneasy for a few days after publishing my previous post. But then I realised that keeping quiet about it doesnt help in the least.

My study at Winneba is over! We interviewed all sorts of children - who sleep in abandoned cars, who havent eaten in a week, who dont have money to even bury their dead parents...I honestly cant bring myself to write about it, but I know I should.

 

Luckily, I happened to chance on this documentary which says all that I am unable to!

 

Do spare some time and look at it - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEDVFndYuT0

 

The last 2 days were all about the Presidential Elections in Ghana - campaigns, lobbying and agenda-pushing....I wonder if the cause of the slaves buried in the lake can even surface for air!

Fishing for life

I was sure that she could see behind my forced smile! I could hardly bring myself to touch the woman whose hand I was shaking.  I was staring at her face, taking in every little detail so that I could recognise her when I saw her again. To most people, she was normal. Like many others, she had sold two of her children and sent them to work on the Volta lake.

 

The Volta lake in Ghana is the biggest man-made lake in the world, the kind that makes tourists gush about its beauty. The lake joins the sea and also boasts about an economy that thrives on unbelievable abuse of orphaned or trafficked children. These children are as young as 4-5 years and are sold by their parents to fishing businessmen for as less as 8 Ghana Cedis ($4). They are paid nothing but given food everyday. They toil endlessly and sleep on the sea in their boats. They are required to engage in the notorious deep-sea fishing throughout the day and night.  Deep-sea fishing is a risk to your life.

 

According to my field surveyor who did a study on this - “Every blessed day at least one child is lost to the sea”!

 

These children are subjected to terrible abuse by their “owners”. They are beaten and starved if they don’t work. They are robbed of their childhood for absolutely no fault of theirs. It doesn’t matter if they die, the “owner” would just buy another!

 

The organisation I work with does wonderful work in preventing this type of trafficking and rescuing these children!

 

Parents who are unable to take care of their children or are in urgent need of money sell their kids to this cause. Many do it just because they don’t want the responsibility of taking care of the child. Like the woman I was talking about. She didn’t look particularly poor. She was sitting across from me, talking and laughing as if she didn’t have a care in the world. I wonder how she sleeps at night!

 

Sometimes, I hate that my job exists!

The Choice!

So Ive been out of a full-time job for more than a year now! Yes, I took on a research internship, started blogging professionally and did many online assignments so that my otherwise impeccable CV didn’t suffer too big a hole. But all this hardly helped the perpetual sinking feeling of not actually having a job.
 

Most people understood and supported my choice. Well, why wouldn’t they? Staying at home and supporting your husband is considered the most worthwhile pursuit, after all!

I soon knew I had to do something or my end was near. No, I’m not being dramatic, its true! My self-worth had fallen considerably, and I began to have insane rages and violent tantrums. I was doing more harm than good for the people at home!

So I began applying for jobs in other cities in Ghana and within 3 weeks, I had one! It is a research consulting profile to conduct studies with children in multiple districts in Ghana. Perfect for me! I took it without thinking twice.

This is my last week in Obuasi. I move to Winneba in a few days. I will live out of a suitcase, stay in some guest-house, starve most of the time and more likely than not, end up with Malaria!

But I am happy, its where my heart is! Best of all, I’m going back to fieldwork, my soul-food! J

The Office Wife

The whole of last night, the power was out. But it wasn’t so bad, there are hoards of mosquitoes to keep you company and you can enjoy the benefits of their presence long after they leave.

So, this morning I woke up with blood-shot eyes, covered in bites and very irritable!

Depp: You look like a wreck.

Me: Thanks, you always know the right thing to say!

Depp: Come on, cheer up! I’ll help you pick out what to wear today.

He holds up a bright blue wrap-around, patterned in flowers.

Me: Thats good, but I need to look professional for work, not like a housewife in a park.

Depp: You’ll look good in this, whether you’re a housewife or an officewife.

Officewife - the term certainly threw me off! And as I’m typing this post, spell check has no issues with housewife but flags officewife. Well, maybe thats a good thing!

The magic of being!

I wasn't sure what we all were looking at. It looked like a HUGE space-craft spanning almost 5 miles and was so high that we couldn't see how tall it was...as we strained our eyes to see its end, it seemed to taper and finally disappear, though we were pretty sure it was structurally a cube...well, hows that possible now?....anyways, we stepped forward hesitantly...and then came on the lights....I mean, there was light before, but now everything was some sort of an illusion and we felt as if we were in a hologram....

We suddenly realised that everything we were thinking was being recorded somewhere and this machine was responding to our thoughts...time enough to dwell on that but I needed answers first....what I was standing on felt lighter than air but was tough as nails and I did not have to walk on it, it seemed to move beneath my feet and took me in whichever direction I wanted to go...sound was not sound in here, sound was what made things move...our eyes couldn't really see since it seemed we were in more than 3 dimensions.. white light split into not 7 but more like a million colors...and colors so fragile that a small tilt of your head changed them drastically...air was not plain old air, air moved in exotic patterns that you could feel around you....

This wondrous machine and everything in it was definitely alien or at least not invented by us yet....but hey, it was actually centuries old....how can that be????

And then it struck me - this was something from the future time traveled to the past!!!

And that's when I woke up...

Some Days

On some days, you forget the problems that were pressing on your mind yesterday! You look at your to-do list and wonder “What was I thinking”?

 

When every small task seems Herculean, when even your dogs or a cup of tea wont cheer you up...

 

You have a resentment, a determined will to not let anything bother you...You watch others with amused detachment and all you want to do is to get into bed with a light book or a mindless movie and hope for a dreamless sleep.

Bruno & Cherry

Ok, I guess this will be the first of many, many posts to come about my dogs! :) This is my first time with dogs and I sometimes cannot believe how much I love them. I never thought I had it in me. There have been days when I’ve skipped my own breakfast to ensure that they have theirs, or have given up a weekend get-away because I didn’t want them to be left alone at home, or chosen to spend time playing with them rather than catching up on sleep and Ive even gotten over my aversion to handling meat for feeding them!

Not to boast or anything, I think these things come naturally to any dog-lover. Having said that, I think there is something inherently sad about owning dogs simply because they are totally at our mercy, with or without their will. Whenever my dog looks pleadingly at me for a tit-bit, I feel it. Or when I don’t allow them to bark at people they want to! Or when they wait patiently for me to  finish what I’m doing and open a door for them! Or when the vet comes home and they start shivering fearing the shots!

Its actually quite hard to explain and strangely, this is why I’ll never be a “good dog owner” by the standards, because I think for them and more often than recommended, oblige them, bend the rules and go out of my way to ensure that they are as happy and comfortable as possible! Good dog training practices require discipline and consistency, almost like running an army barrack, but I cannot do it – for example, I would much rather respect their food preferences and coax them to eat than being indifferent and letting them know that this is all they are going to get.

                                                                                                          

Anyways, all that can be discussed later because I am dying to introduce Bruno & Cherry, our two dogs who I love with all my life! :)

BRUNO - is a complete dope, very lovable, very trusting of others, very forgiving, forever hungry. He’s quite big and looks intimidating, but once you get to know him, he’s just a giant fur-ball and will eat out of your hand! Bruno has a protective instinct towards his family (and Cherry) and really has a heart of gold! He is not very inquisitive, isn’t surprised by much and lives for the simple pleasures like eating & sleeping.

The couch potato!

CHERRY - She is small, very sharp, very quick and VERY intelligent! People tend to be less fearful of her since she’s much smaller, a mistake, because she can be EXTREMELY aggressive and is the leader of the two. She doesn’t like strangers in the house and will take her time to trust you. She is also temperamental, and unlike Bruno, will remember if you scold her or smack her and sometimes won’t talk to you for days. She is very active, loves games and challenges, will make an extremely good guard-dog and never misses a thing! She eats almost nothing and is a great pain at each meal time. She also has an instinct for people that is so strongly accurate that it scares me at times.

Cherry basking in the sun!

Didn’t someone say that pet-owners personify their pets to a fault? :) I guess I am a good example. I remember wondering about this sometime ago in a post on my sister’s cat! Anyways, heres some more pics of Bruno & Cherry!

 

Inseparable as pups!

Cherry wants the pineapple

Cherry - Lost in thought!

Bruno with his horse shoe!

Buddies for life!

Lost to the world

Obrouni

OBROUNI !!! - Wherever I go in Ghana, thats how people call me and how they refer to me. It means “White Woman”. I’m not white by any standards, brown maybe, but that doesnt matter because according to the people here - If you are not black, you are white.

Oddly enough, I feel discriminated against because of my fairer color. What disturbs me most is that every single person uses the phrase, even small children, without exception.

I sometimes wonder, in a world that tends to discriminate against people because of their darker skin, aren’t Ghanaians reinforcing it against themselves? Why would they do that?

My boss put this rosy spin on it by saying that they call me “Obrouni” not in a disrespectful way, but in a friendly way. Its true actually! People tend to treat you better because you are “Obrouni”.

But I still feel discriminated against! Why? Because they are setting me apart from them (No, DONT tell me that I AM different from them).

Because at the end of the day, calling someone by their color is racist!

Or maybe I’m just getting grumpy in life!

The Wallkill Rotties!

Have you heard of the Wallkill Rotties? No? Well, very briefly, there is this 64-year old woman who lives in Middletown, New York. She had a puppy mill (aka unlicensed dog-breeding centre) with around 74 Rottweilers. According to reports, these dogs were in deplorable and heart-breaking conditions - bent legs, blind in one eye, housed in mud and filth, skin issues, flea ridden cages, stale food and water; it was almost unbelievable.  

On Facebook, there was a rage among dog-lovers and rescuers alike, all striving to get people to sign a petition for maximum punishment for her cruelty. The petition can be found here, signed by 12400 people currently. A dedicated group on FB, which currently has 3325 members has been doing a wonderful job of spreading the message, helping in finding foster homes for the rescued dogs and collecting money for the cause.

Personally, I was shocked after reading the reports and seeing the pics of the pain and misery these dogs had to go through. I urge every reader of this post to check out the Facebook group. The dedication, empathy and determination of the supporters comes so clearly through! And God knows those dogs needed it. I really shudder when I think of how many dogs worldwide must be being subjected to terrible abuse for the sake of money. 

The tale related by one volunteer really tugs at my heart. Ive reproduced it below from the Petition Page:

I was a volunteer there on the second day of clean-up and this is the tale I have to tell....

When we arrived on this 'persons' property she had the top of her driveway chained off preventing any vehicles from entering. As I am not good at judging distances, I will just tell you the drive way is LONG. Approx 10 of us climbed over the chain and carried 40lb bags of donated dog food up this long driveway to feed and leave for the owner.

The first kennel I came upon was separated from the others and had a small young female full of milk, but no puppies. She circled and whimpered, clearly distraught at not being able to find her puppies. We did the best we could to find a semi dry, safe place to leave the bags of dog food and continued on to where the 'real' kennels were. My heart sank. As a Rottweiler owner for 15+ years, to see the condition these dogs were in made me wish I wasnt a human.

Walking the length of dilapidated, uncovered kennels, I saw dogs that were born with black hair, now brown with caked mud. I saw dogs with eyes swollen shut from infections. I saw dogs with legs so bowed that you could fit a basketball between them. One little girl had paws that turned completely in, her front legs so severely bowed she could barely walk. I saw dogs, so shut down, they laid in the far back corner of their kennels with eyes that said "please just let it end". In one kennel, was a small female, missing a front leg, stuck in mud so thick she couldnt walk; in another a dog with an eye that looked like it had been pushed in, the eyeball a solid milky white color. An occasional rat running parallel through the kennels, the only form of 'toy' these dogs have ever seen. Kennel after kennel after kennel, of what was once a noble, intelligent breed, circling in their enclosures, broken mentally and physically.

All of us swallowing our anger and heartbreak got to work cleaning the empty kitty litter containers used for water... broken and bent metal bowls with jagged edges for food. We fed and we watered, we gave treats to those trusting enough to take them. All of this being done, while being watched by the owner of the property from a second floor window of her house.

Tarps were brought to partially cover the kennels and give the dogs some semblance of refuge from the elements and provide shade. Blankets were brought to put in the sparse, dirty, broken Dogloo houses, barely big enough for a dog 50lbs, never mind 2-3 rottweilers.

Eventually the owner came out of her house. She approached me and stood in front of me staring directly at me. In that moment what I saw made my skin crawl. Dark, empty eyes looking at me and for the 1st time in my life I knew I had met someone completely devoid of a soul. She walked away and proceeded to refuse the tarps, the blankets and the dog food. She wanted all of it removed from her property. ALL of it.

When the time had come that all the dogs had been fed and given fresh water and there was little else that could be done for the day, I picked up a bag of dog food, forcing my feet to put one in front of the other and walk away from these dogs, knowing I was leaving them behind in hell. After a 3 hour drive home, I changed my clothes, showered, sat on the floor with my dogs and sobbed for the rest of the night.

This is why I signed this petition!

Courtesy: https://www.change.org

That puppy in the window!

All the posts labelled That puppy in the window! are dedicated to the dogs who are worse-off due our mistakes, intentional or not!  Being a new pet owner myself and having learnt some very harsh lessons, I feel obligated to share them with you.
So you decided to get a pet? A puppy or a kitten possibly. Is your mind conjuring up a “cute” puppy??


How would you go about it? Would you just go to that shop near your house and get one? Or ask around for a  person who sells puppies and pick one? Or would you check for puppies online and find breeders in your city that sell pups?



In India atleast, from what I have seen there are 3 major factors that determine this choice – Breed, looks & price!

Let us quickly review these criteria:

Breed – Often, too little thought is put into the breed of the dog. Breed is often selected based on size and appearance. The importance of choosing the right breed cannot be discussed in this one post but heres a quick summary – at the very least you, need to think of the following when you are choosing the breed of your dog:

1. Do you want a working dog?
2. How big is your house, how much yard space can you give your dog?
3. How big do you want your dog to be; saw its mom? 
4. How much exercise does your dog need daily? Can you provide it?
5. Are the the weather conditions in your city suitable for the breed?  
6. Would you want dog to be a guard dog?
7. What will you do if the dog gets too big and powerful to handle? 
8. Are you a lap-dog person?
9. Are you willing to put up with a dog that sheds hair?
10. Do you want a "show dog"?

Although it should not be the deciding factor, take a breed selector quiz online, it’ll give you an idea of the factors that the choice of breed should be based on!

Appearance – possibly the most misleading criteria. Like they say appearances can be deceptive; but in this case, it can not only be deceptive but potentially quite disturbing for both you and the dog  if you base your choice solely or mainly on the appearance. Consider these things when you are considering getting a puppy thats “cute”.

1. How was this puppy bred? Did the breeder test the parents for genetic defects and health before breeding? Or is he/ she a backyard breeder? Genetic issues like Degenerative Myelopathy can show up later in life and be very painful for both the dog and you!
2. Is the puppy registered? Are the parents registered? In India, the puppy (if coming from a responsible breeder) will mostly be registered with the Kennel Club of India! Pure-bred dogs will usually have their pedigree on the Pedigree Database!
3. Is the puppy socialised? Is the breeder aware of puppy imprinting?
4. Does the puppy confirm to the breed standard? Does the puppy’s mom confirm to the standard?
5. How did the breeder choose the two dogs for breeding?

In India, where the dog industry is actually quite undeveloped for the most part, you may find that the breeder has no idea what you are talking about when you ask these questions. If you are buying from a family who keeps dogs and doesnt bother with the above, I’m not saying it is bad. I’m just saying you should be aware and prepared for the issues the puppy may have! Our two puppies were bought from a puppy mill, only we didn’t know it then. It doesnt make the happiness our dogs bring us any less, we love them just the same. But we all need to be aware. The other thing that goes into  this decision is – for every puppy we buy intentionally from a puppy mill for whatever reason, we are endorsing the practice. Do we want to do that?

Price – Price is important, not just the price of the puppy but also the cost of maintaining it. Do your homework on the probable expenses of every kind – food, vaccinations, vet visits, medical emergencies, kennels or yard fencing, etc. Regarding the price of purchasing the dog,  the lower a dog/ puppy is priced by a seller, the harder you need to inquire why! I’ll leave it to you to figure this one out! :)

Image Source - http://www.alegoo.com

It depends! Does it?

For some reason, I really resent it when people, especially at workplace say "It depends!" with an air of knowing!  

What does that mean anyway? It doesn't in the least answer what you are asking. For example, the other day, we asked someone does a door-to-door health intervention (spraying anti-malarial insecticides on walls of houses) - How many houses do you cover in a day? 

"It depends" came the answer.

"On what?" I persisted!

"On many things like the size of the houses, the number of rooms, the type of walls, etc".

This type of an answer helps no one. But sadly, lots of people talk like this!

He couldve simply said " Around 10-20, depending on the type of houses".

I really don't get why people cloud things - why they settle for being ambiguous and obscure where they can be a little more objective and say something concrete. Its almost as it is either:

1. They don't know

2. They don't want to tell you

3. They want to make it seem like its something complex when it is not. 

4. Its too big a load on their brain to think about it and come up with an answer. 

Hello again !

So its been more than a year since I last posted! I usually post only when I have something to say. The past year has been very eventful with a lot of changes. Among the HUGE changes are:

1. I quit my job, the job I simply LOVED :(
2. I got MARRIED  :)

3. I moved to Ghana

4. I FINALLY have dogs - Yes, 2 lovely dogs called Bruno & Cherry!

While writing this post, I felt like pouring out everything on my mind and all the things Ive been thinking over this year, but fortunately decided against it. Nope, they'll be told in separate well-put-together posts and not a jumble of confused emotions! :)

Dole up!

My maid's family went to the local MLA to invite him for her daughter's wedding. He was not personally known to them or anything, it was just courtesy. He said he wont be able to come but gave them Rs. 3000/-. It seems anyone in their community who went to his house with a problem or difficulty would be helped the same way...Nice.... right? Why wouldnt they vote for him? And on the other hand, no commercial transactions above Rs. 50 lakhs can be carried out in the city without giving a commission to the "authorities"...

Really, the mass and the scale of corruption in our country is so huge that attempting to tackle it is more expensive for us than what we lose to the corruption!

The window!

Couldnt help writing about this....So first my dad sends me and my sister the following email:

This is a beautiful presentation of India.  Pl go through.

And attached was a presentation that can be read at

shikshanaakash.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/india_2.pps

And then my sis replies to me (thankfully not to Dad)

The very first sentence "India has never known slavery" reveals how we selectively pick facts that support our view that India is the best.  Who does these stupid presentations? We need to stop praising our past and acknowledge our present problems!!!!!And any attempt to say this will immediately label you unpatriotic and a bad person. Sigh sigh SIGH

Might is right?

I am sure we all have had our experiences with unreasonable landlords. I didnt realise there was an other side to it. The other day I was telling my parents that they had under-quoted the rent for a flat they owned and I asked them to revise it. They seemed reluctant to do so, despite the going-rate being slightly higher. At first, I thought they were just trying to avoid the hassle of searching for another suitable tenant but there seemed to be more.

Mom: See, we've chosen the medium-risk-medium return option.
Me: What?
Mom: We could let it out to someone at a higher price, but the more their ability to pay, the higher the chances that they'll create trouble for us.
Me: Its your house ma, if they create trouble, just throw them out!
Mom: What if they dont go?
Me: What?
Mom: They may refuse to leave.
Me: So? Evict them!
Mom: What if we cant?
Me: !
Mom: See, even here, high returns come with a high risk.
Me (not willing to understand): Whatever!

As if on cue, a friend told me the same day about having trouble evicting a tenant who hadnt paid even a day's rent. Why? He was in the Police, and they didnt want to take him on!

Its not that my parents are not well-connected or dont know the right people; they just prefer to not deal with such things, which is something I will never understand. 

Anyways, to me, all this is just another reason not to buy a house :)

Ex-pectations!

I think ex-boyfriends/ girlfriends are the worst baggage you can carry. They're never quite out of your mind and you hate the fact that they even exist. I hear about people being good friends with their ex-es but its never happened for me. Sure, we are amicable and civil but theres something that just doesnt go away.

I debated about whether or not to write about this weird exchange of messages I recently had. So this guy and I used to go out around 4-5 years ago. Hes married to someone else now and we've hardly talked since. We were friends on Facebook but I noticed him adding and deleting me continuously. I would invite him/ receive an invite from him, just to get deleted the next day.

Finally I got sick of being jerked around and decided to tell him off. The conversation below gives the gist of our discussion, though I dont remember the exact words.

Me: Dude, am sick & tired of your adding and deleting my name from your friends list. I dont know why you keep doing it - lets just not remain friends on FB or anywhere else ok??? I wont invite u and u too dont - we've better things to do.

He: Mind your business.

Me: Yeah, you too. Duplitious Creep!

He: Excuse me? Duplitious, what are you then?

I didnt deign to reply.

He: Listen here, you invited me, so dont blame me for adding you. I deleted you. There ends the story!

Me: Congratulations! You managed to come up with a story that is even lamer than you are. Wasnt it you who invited me the last time with a dumb "Veeeeeeeeee"? Anyways, I am tired of your pathetic games, so stay out of my face. Goodbye!

He: Yeah, right...goodbye!

Well, the good thing is we wont talk again, ever!

Raising the BAR?

Is it sadistic hinging on cruel to make mileage of the fact that men think you are doing them a favor by letting them buy you coffee? I ask this purely in the context of work. I personally dont think so, given the disadvantages women face in workplaces, esp in India - for example, we almost always lose out on the special bonding that men indulge in only over drinks - decisions made, friendships created, secrets spilled, information shared - we very rarely get to even know about it, let alone be part of a drinks-do!

So think about it - there emerges a pretty strong case for women to use their appeal to the same end.

What atleast really means!

A very good friend of mine recently got engaged to this girl he had been going out with for 2 years. I had never met her and so asked them out for lunch when they were in town last weekend. But my friend seemed reluctant to bring her, which I thought was strange. Anyhow, she finally ended up coming.

To my unpleasant surprise, throughout the meal she kept nagging, taunting and critising my poor friend who just couldnt get a break. I am really not exaggerating here - she was downright rude and a TOTAL shrew! She kept snapping at him, jeering at his every sentence and generally trivialising everything he said. My friend is this really nice guy - kind, timid and really quite harmless. So I didnt see why she had to be that way.

If they werent engaged, I would really have told her off, but I decided to swallow my anger. Also, it was none of my business - you can never tell what holds a couple togther and for all I knew, they could be really happy.

But I couldnt resist in asking - so when she went out to take a call, I cautiously asked - are you sure this is the right girl for you?

Pat came the reply - No.

Then why are you engaged?

Atleast I am getting some!

So far so good.

Went to pick up my cousion today in Terminal 3 at the New Delhi airport thats just opened up for domestic flights...

Listened to my uncle telling me that the rent of his flat just doubled..

My aunt told me about a wedding she attended yesterday with whos-who in Delhi amongst the guests... 

Watched We The People on NDTV about the Telecom Spectrun Scam...

Read Rakhi Sawant saying that she is walking with God because her name is mentioned along with Shah Rukh and Amitab..

Have to attend a conference on helping the poor in one of the most expensive hotels in the city this week..

I suddenly feel very scared :(

Life's Haircut?

I havent eaten in days. The choices on the menu are rabbits, dogs and peacocks. Yes, I did say peacocks.

Arunkulam is a tiny hamlet – its a really remote village in the Ottapidaram block of Tamil Nadu. The population of this hamlet is around 30 households. Everyone looks the same. The same! You will believe it only if you see it. You too will look like them if you stay here long enough.

People actually hunt for food. Each house has atleast 4 blood hounds. They are used for hunting rabbit. The dogs get to keep the limbs and people eat the rest. A convinient arrangement. If no rabbits are available, people eat dogs. Miles and miles of land stretch all around the village. Dry as dust land! Not a soul or a building or a shop in sight but a peacock calls to you every now and then.

You’d rather not eat becuase it is easier that way. The food is taken from another plate.You’d rather not sleep becuase its safer that way. The wolves might take your life away. You’d rather not bathe because its cleaner that way. The water is liquid plague.

The people here are resigned to fate. They neither know nor care what goes on in the rest of the world. Their life’s aim is to stay alive. Disease and poverty are their inseparable companions. They dont even own their time. Someone decided, someone they never met, generations ago, that their life will be somebody else’s labor.

Your cellphone mocks the village by getting signal at one particular spot on one particluar hillock at one particular angle. It hurts to think or feel in this place. It physically hurts!

I haven’t eaten in days. But thats my only problem. How did I get so lucky?