Man in the mirror

I really dont want to say it - but I think I am falling out of love with villages and more so, the people. See, Ive always loved field travel. Not just because its my work or because the countryside is pretty, but also because it puts things in perspective and gives me a sense of purpose. It was the one thing in my life which was steady.

Yesterday I had gone to this place called Arupukottai in Tamil Nadu - I dunno if we can find it on a map..it seemed like a hell-hole in the middle of nowhere...and for the first time ever, I felt claustrophobic.. the atmosphere was too suffocating...and I wanted to just run away from there...why?..because the people there thrived in their poverty...they were perfectly happy with living in penury....I know its a pretty harsh thing to say, but thats what it was...

They were content with working for nothing, they just shrugged and put it down to misfortune when their people died of diseases...they  were perfectly ok with the lack of amenities...spent most of their lives caste-politicking and street-fighting...and generally didnt even bother to dream of a better life...

This raises two important questions:

1. Who are we to decide what is good or bad for them? What makes us think that our lifestyle is superior? They may be happier than us, for all we know.. Why are we so hell-bent on bringing them into the "mainstream"? What gives us the right anyway, just because we have the money?

2. Arent we all like that, albeit in bigger things? For example, havent we accepted that we have to give bribes everywhere to get work done? Dont we pay fine to the traffic cop for no fault of ours? These are the things we've learnt to live with, just like them..

Lets now reverse the roles...(oh yes, we live on the "other side" most of our lives...didnt you know????)

We are all sentimental beings, are we not? Sentiments mean a lot to us, usually more than money...we see hundreds of examples of it around the world everyday...for instance, how else do we explain the most expensive naming rights of the world's tallest building being given in lieu of debt bailout???? That something symbolic is worth more than something concrete?? Seriously, how does it matter who names it what...why give a damn???? But we do!! Then arent we the same people who register absolutely no sentiment when we see that careers of  millions of people are ostensibly dedicated to making our lives better? Seriously, HOW can we sleep knowing that we are subjects of research and projects and patronages, that we are specimens, that someone in intently observing us, someone who thinks our life should be better and makes decisions to that effect? That our life is reduced to numbers and statistics and someone takes the liberty to actually  think for us??? Why have we never questioned this intrusion? Why have we never asked them what right they have?? The icing on the cake is that when we (or should I say we the people) are seen to be making mileage out of this or taking advantage of their "noble" intentions, they crib...yes, they the patrons of mankind get disillusioned and decide we dont deserve to be helped...now we dont remember asking them for help, do we?

And this goes for all of us, we are on both sides, think about it......the only difference is that we probably dont realise it when we are the subjects ...but people in the field, they do, its in their damn face and they dont care...but for all else, the oceans of sentiments come pouring in....sheesh !!! 

 Really want to write more, but whats the point??? 

I love you IRMA

So I went back to IRMA last week, my alma mater :) .. its almost two years since I graduated.. and we had this mega reunion of all the batches…

What can I say about it??..sigh !!!...for starters, its in Gujarat which my mind automatically translates as good food :)...God bless whoever thought of reunions....they're the perfect happiness pill :)...meeting all your friends….being among people who love you…the lunches and dinners packed with laughter and crazy jokes and truckloads of fun :) …oh, the joy of drinking chai on the mess lawns, lazing in the sun...the exemplary grind and the crazy head-banging you cant do elsewhere…the freedom to wear polka dotted pants and have no one judge you…meeting your old profs…. the nostalgia of seeing your old room and remembering the good times you had…the classrooms, the audi, the baddy court, the chimes…you can get high on just the sheer goodwill and love of the place, I tell you..I just couldn’t get enough….. I’ll post some pics soon…

Seriously, if you haven’t been through post-grad, you’ve missed something in life….graduation doesnt come close by faaaaar, trust me on this... 

I love you IRMA :)

Inside out

There is this maid in the neighborhood who once spooked the living daylights out of me when she pinned another woman to the ground and stamped on her repeatedly, mouthing unprintable abuses, all in the middle of the road. See this video I took, though not much can be seen because it was very late in the evening.

It was only a petty quarrel but the things this lady said to the other woman is worse than I can ever imagine, worse than anything I ever heard or read - even if all of us put our heads together for a year, I doubt if we could come up with anything close. Only a diseased mind could say such things.

To me, this lady represented many things - the bitterness and hatred that comes with poverty, the petty mind which cannot think beyond the nuances of street politics and the tough survival instincts that are developed by facing hardships...it was sad and scary at the same time. But I could never forget her cruel behaviour...

The other day I happened to catch her eye though usually I look away...and for some reason she smiled at me...it was quite genuine, and on an impulse I gave her a flower which I happened to have. You should have seen her face light up, I tell you...and after seeing that smile, I suddenly feel hopeful...in general...u know?

Someone had this on their gtalk status a while ago - Too often we underestimate the power of a touch....a smile....a kind word....a listening ear....an honest compliment....or the smallest act of caring....all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Its so true!

Journal - A double-edged sword

I maintain a pretty elaborate journal. A journal is considered good because you can walk down the memory lane anytime you want, see how you have grown, have a record of the life you lived and all that right???

But I realized yesterday that it also makes me hold on to grudges. It never lets me forget even the smallest of things. All I have to do is to re-read it and everything comes back and my actions get influenced by them !! This cant be good no?

When I was younger, I used to be one of those with short memories. Unless it was very intense, I never bothered to remember anything. And that is bad too, it is really bad. I would make the same mistakes again and again, allow the same people again and again...Now theres absolutely no chance of that...

But how does one find a balance between these two??

The heart of India

I think one of the surest signs of a developed country is that manual and menial labor would be very highly valued, the simple logic being when something is not easily available, it will be expensive. True? What do you think? In India, somehow people who exert themselves the most are paid the least. And under no circumstances will I accept that the work we do provides more value than that of say, a carpenter. Generate more money for our firms, probably yes! But provide more value...huh, no! There seems to be this gross misplacement between value and price.

Anyways, I am in MP finally...FI..NA..LEEEEEEE :) ...and theres an outside chance that my next project could be based out of here..I now really understand why people say that India is multicultural or diverse or whatever...truly, the different states are so incomparable that it almost feels like another world...

Ive been here for a few days now and its very cold...too cold to even blog :(....and I dislike dressing up in layers and layers, though its fun to pretend I'm in London and wear coats and boots :)..but my brain works really slowly in winter and I fall ill easily...but the great food here almost makes up for it....its poha and roasted cashews with milk for breakfast....and I maintain that poha is one of our biggest achievements ever :P....and then there are these spiced cucumber and cabbage soups they sell round every corner which I can never get enough of...not to mention huge pans of flavored hot milk in every street...see the pic.....and you can choose your spicing too, my fave currently is cinnamon with brown sugar...it beats coffee anyday!!

One of the brightest things about winters are the colors...seriously, this place is so colorful and its so is hugely uplifting...wherever you go, people are brightly dressed, shops are festive  and full of activity and the whole atmosphere is so alive....and you can imagine by the pics how much of shopping I mustve done :)...and even the walls here seem jolly - full of murals and paintings...this is a very happy place really :)...and on every street corner you have bonfires too, conjured up by no one but open to all...and all the people are really friendly and everyone is full of smiles:)..the winter sure brings about a characteristic bonhomie, I guess :P....

You know, though its bad to generalize, people say that every state has an aura...I guess its the same that makes you detest it when you are there but long for it when you are not...Im yet to find MP though :), which is a good sign or maybe I need to stay longer to know or travel a bit more.....dunno if you are getting what I am saying, but I'll leave it here for now...Anyways, all said and done, this is really a good break and it couldn't be more welcome and I feel so much better for it :)

Oh and another thing...I stumbled upon this extraordinary pricing strategy followed by certain airlines...consider this...if you were given a choice between something that costs 600 bucks on a regular basis and something that is claimed to actually cost a 1000 bucks but is available to you at 600 after a 40% rebate, which would you choose??? Most people would choose the latter, thinking they are getting more for less...when it need not be the case at all!! Its all about presentation...What a sham! Devious na?? But then, these airlines should do a bit more research because not everything can be acquired by playing on the consumer's mindset.....for instance, certain customers always choose only the airline that provides for a live camera on the wheels :P

The sunshine smile

Ok, technically I should be working now…But I missed my blog so I came here to say hi…Its been a very hectic week and I am on a new project at work which has LOADS of fieldwork :)…and am tremendously excited.

But you know, I realized that this blog is dangerously close to becoming a journal, which is not what it was meant to be – I have to change it anyway..I need a new template and a new profile pic, and of course, a new URL. I cant show my face anywhere with this one :)

Oh and I met a fellow-blogger on Saturday in Pune, I would love to give a blow-by-blow account of our coffee, but hes sure to read this, so I refrain :) Needless to say, he was really sweet and easy to talk to..and we didn’t notice the time fly, which in my opinion is a good indication of whether you had a nice time. I was at Pune for a conference, but the best part was the special dinner night where they had a DJ and a dance floor…its been sooooo long…I was dressed to the hilt…and me & my colleagues danced our heels off to Bollywood numbers (which I would be otherwise ashamed to listen to), albeit with men twice our age…I think that’s a rule of the land anyway…I got drunk too, just the right amount…not too much to make a fool of myself…but not too little to care about others…oh, it was so awesome I tell you :) I really needed the break…

Now I am back in my Chennai office just for the day for a meeting…it feels so strange to be here after almost a year. Nothing has changed at all…but I guess I am nostalgic to a fault. And sometimes I do things just out of sheer bloody- mindedness. That’s not a good combination now is it?? This might sound a tad silly but today I am very happy because a friend gave me flowers…ok, not flowers, a flower nonetheless… But how does it matter when you are so happy? :)

Oh and I almost forgot to tell you the moral victory I won yesterday…a friend of mine and I went for dinner to Residency Towers yesterday and we chose a terrace seating on the 20th floor with a view of the entire city…I cant tell you how breathtakingly beautiful it was, live band and all…and of course, we had just got off the train from Bangalore and were therefore looking a little worse for wear…ok, actually like something the cat brought in…and the maitre d' evidently thought we didnt belong there and she was like the minimum billing in this place is 500 rupees, is that ok with you?? My friend was aghast and thought of leaving, but then there was NO way I was leaving, it was too perfect to give up, music, breeze and all…so I did the next best thing… I completely lost it and gave her a piece of my mind and totally wiped the floor with her and her stuck-up manager…I cant tell you how happy that made me feel…huh, I sound so juvenile, even to myself…but I don’t care :)

Anyhow, that dispensed with, the weeks ahead promise lots of traveling – to MP and Gujarat…I cant wait to go back to Gujarat :) I may even go to Thanjavur again :) And in celebration of going back to the fields, Ive decided to get my nose pierced…with a subtle sliver ring…It’ll go down really well in the village and it looks really good with colored Kajal…whats life without colors?? I really love this phase when you get happy for no reason…Isnt it great??.I recommend it thoroughly :)

Ive also a lot of opinions too lately…that’s new for me, because usually I maintain that I am not qualified enough to comment on anything and dont really venture an opinion (except on this blog :P)…its too tedious to write all Ive been thinking lately but one of the uppermost thoughts that has been on my mind after seeing all these villages is that home-makers..or housewives or whatever…should be paid a salary for their work..cos they are the only people who slog for a lifetime and get paid absolutely nothing…and all their work earns them no financial independence…just cos we don’t put a value on their work…If you had to pay someone to do all they do, and that too, unconditionally…without raises or timings or cribbing or any of those hassles…??? Wow, how much would the GDP of our country be?? Or any country??? Just calculate and see it’s a lot… Seriously, housework is the only work that doesn’t get paid …and then the tag of doing nothing….what a raw deal… Yes, if you come back saying I am trying to “put a price on love” and stuff like that, it wont be well-received…umm, on second thoughts, say what you must, I don’t really care :)

Because me so happyyyyy :) So that’s it for now…am getting back to work..nice talking to you :)

Its Me-time!

For blogger-beginners, its always the season for tags :) Ive been tagged by a friend to write down 7 things about me which would make things easier for those around and 7 things that others are not likely to know easily..I wonder why seven..

Anyways, heres the list I came up with and I had fun writing it :) 

1. Dull and faded colors depress me, they really do.

2. Its very easy to change my perspective, call it being fickle or being open

3. I find it very difficult to fight with strangers as opposed to people I know.

4. I really think that familiarity beyond a point is bad.
5. Petty people really scare me. This doesn’t mean I can’t be petty. I often am.
6. I say please and sorry in almost every sentence, even if I dont mean it.
7. I always heart its never too late. I hate its never too early.
8. If you hear some of the dreams I get, you'd think I shouldnt be allowed :)
9. My interests are often short-lived. I prefer one of everything to everything of one. .
10. I can let it slide if you are mean to me, but dont try that with my family. 
11. I can never cut my hair short.
12. I can be stubborn but as easily be a push-over.  
13. I find it very difficult to adjust with people who are slow.
14. I prefer men to women in a boss.

Now, the rule says Ive to pass on this tag to two other bloggers.....so I choose Roy and Jha :)

Types of poverty

I didnt know I was poor. Well, spiritually poor! You may be economically rich but your maid is socially richer because she has more friends and more goodwill.  Lack of fitness is physically poor.

And theres intellectually poor, emotionally poor, etc..Dont have a strong mind? Mentally poor, arent you? :) But the best Ive heard is if you are artificial, you are naturally poor.. :)

On a more serious note, I guess all of us are poor in one way or the other and thereby there is an equality of sorts prevailing....

Should be interesting to see what happens if these ideas become mainstream and translate into real gains. This kind of a leveler will  definitely lead to some well-deserving inverted-snobbery :)

Too bad we cant derive much mileage out of these though. Not yet, anyway...Whatever!!